Sounds like you have the similar feeling of "meh" around your birthday that i do.
No one to celebrate with, or really cares, so best to just to enjoy a little personal time relaxing, or a simple little adventure of a hike or something,,,
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At an early age my parents decided to stop letting me give birthday parties because well i wasn't the most populair one.
And i also see it as just another day closer to the end, dark as that may seem but it's true,, where time just goes faster and faster.
And yes even now i don't have anyone either (all i have left is my mother, a female friend that is way too complicated, and a steam friend that lives in the US), the last few years it been nice weather around my birthday but this year they predict rain, i am happy with staying at home playing some games and just chill. normally i would have some booze with it, but i quit. so it's sober in several ways. :p
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Happy early birthday! As we get older, birthdays begin feel more like just another day. With the little you have in this world, being our own best company is sometimes the greatest gift. Spending the day playing games and simply relaxing sounds like the perfect way to celebrate.
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i want you to give you some encouragement and i hope you have a happy birthday anyway, if you have Battlefront 2, im down to play sometimes, you can add me on Steam if you do :)
God bless!
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I do (but not played it) and while i appreciate the offer, it's semi big and i always run out of space, and we do have time zone differences.
And i got a backlog of 1000 installed games (aside from the 11000 uninstalled).
Never hurts to have eachother added on steam though, we can always see.
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yeah its pretty big, also 12000?! thats just crazy, and yeah, never hurts :)
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Back in the day of tremorgames when you could do tasks for games, i used to get 1000-1500 a year.
The first 10 years when i made my account i never even used it and only had Audiosurf.
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Hey Lugum, i share a similar background to you on that subject (no parties as a kid because parents never allowed it). And you are the first person i see in my life, online or not, saying the same thing i think about birthdays. I look at birthdays as the opposite of "surviving another year", i look at it like "yay, one less year for me to live on this rock and time does not slow down for you, f*cking amazing".
Funnily enough, my parents wanted me to throw a party at the age of 18 (and more down the road, i eventually had to tell my own parents to stop bothering me on my own birthday, 2 years ago), too late, damage was already done. I got used to never having parties, so i live with that lone time, most of the time and it is perfectly fine to me. I did have some moments where i gathered with friends from the past to go have dinner and the likes, but i haven't done that in like 5 years, and the time frame that i did that stuff was usually around 18 to mid 20s. But most of the time i felt like i was lacking something when i was with the few friends i had, i ended up moving on and leaving people behind, i felt like, i wasn't helping myself when i went out with the same people over and over again, at times i look at myself, i see myself age, but it almost feels like i am stuck in time and made almost no progress in life (which is not true, but i still think about it), to then see people around you also aging, becoming couples, marrying, having kids, it just feels weird to me and out of place as the only real achievements i am getting are on the work side of things (professional level so to say). The rest of the stuff is me just being lazy and not really motivating myself to do anything beyond my typical day.
Same thing happened with travelling, we used to travel a lot and see family on the other side of the country when i was a kid, i remember loving the trips and the moments back then, but this stuff ended too quick for me, it's just like family gatherings, less and less of them occured over the years as the older people kick the bucket (they are usually the ones making the family events) until it reaches a complete stop. All of this ended, family gatherings did survive longer than family trips to meet other family living in a distant place, this also impacted me growing up when it comes to travelling. Because i'm more of a indoors person than outdoors, i used to be less social as i was shy in my youth but i'm doing alright now i guess as i lost that "shyness". All of this impacted me growing up.
There is lots more i could speak of but i only wanted to wish you a happy birthday and not make a diary about me (this is more to show that you are not alone out there, neither am i), i hope you find peace with yourself on this day, if there is something you usually like but avoid doing so, this day might be that day to break some rules. Like buying yourself some gifts, go experience a new location not far away like a restaurant or shopping mall, buy an item in your shopping wishlist. I do this sometimes on special occasions.
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Thanks for sharing.
Although your one less year to live on sounds more like it has a depressive tone tone to it, i don't hate (my) life by itself just the situation.
All i miss (aside from some better health) is loving someone and vice versa and a kid(s) i would trade in my 12000 steam games for that in a heartbeat and i think then i can be happy, when you hope it still happens to you someday, yeah the chances can also be it don't.
Maybe if i had that glass ball that predict the future and it says it's not in the cards for you then maybe okay i would feel the same not wanting to live that way the rest of my life, it's difficult.
With friends yeah they get a family and lose time for you, family do die out, and well since corona and just this quick era we live in people are more selfish i feel and even have less time for others, when for many people their phone is the most important thing in their live.
I was also very shy like you, and also outgrown it, in fact i might be even speaking too much at times maybe. :p But if only you could have been like that when you were a kid, how things perhaps could have been different. But things then made who you are now.
And i do buy myself games i guess to feel good, way more then my low budget sometimes permit, that on itself is also a major string around you, when you do groceries and you have to count all the prices in your head to see if you don't overspend.
How old are you though? Maybe you still got way more time then me.
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Well, it is indeed a bit depressive considering the background i had, can't deny that. I don't hate myself, well not right now at least, i actually used to dislike myself when i was a younger because i had all sorts of problems that other kids did not have, going through depression might have helped me turn the tables, it took a while though.
I used to be the kind of person that would make others a priority over my own well being, so i got exploited a bit too many times because of that. Learning as life goes on, the issue with this learning is that i end up separating myself from socialization groups, even right now, i am going through a few "collisions" at work, because human nature is warping into a darker state as we continue to "evolve" as a social species. I see some of the most corrupt human behaviours at work from people i have to frequently see on a daily basis.
Currently, I'm the kind of person that tries to keep a neutral stand as much as possible, i used to help others more frequently than i do now due to past experiences. But i still have the caution to provide multiple possibilities and try to describe potential outcomes of each option ahead, last thing i want is people to listen to me and take a decision based on what i have said and end up in a worst situation, but more so to listen to what i say and create their own conclusion, like creating your own path.
I wouldn't trade my current self for one with a wife and kid, because i know myself that i do not fancy creating a family myself, simply because i put too much thought into everything i do, i think about the possibility of having a kid, if the kid is anything like me, he/she is going to suffer a lot. Besides, i see the world we live in as mostly evil, i know, survival is a key aspect of every living thing out there, by passing down their genes, not everyone will make it to that goal, society is being manipulated in such a way, that things become extremely difficult but also petty in some situations.
I used to do that with groceries some years ago, but i lost the habit and patience to do that. From time to time, i end up overspending on useless stuff. I bought a bunch of tools to make salads in the last 3 months, but i have yet to use them to make a salad, hahaha. I've continued to do the old school way, wash everything by hand and leave it on water for a bit, slice things into larger slices because i got no patience to do smaller stuff, put everything into a large bowl, spice it up, eat. Some of the things i bought are meant to help with the process of cutting and cleaning food for example, but here i am, not using the tools i bought and had no necessity of doing so. Same situation with games, buying more games when i got a massive backlog i can't catch up to. Some games i buy with the intention of playing ASAP, but are left collecting dust for months or years in the backlog...
I myself am 33 years old, achieved on July. So a somewhat fresh 33. I assume you are a bit older than i am. I believe you confirmed that in the past. So don't blame me for calling you "old" here, haha. x)
This comment was also about 2-3 times the current size you will see, i just ended up cutting a bunch of stuff to keep it shorter, mostly just experiences in present time. So yeah, i do talk/write a lot as well at times. All depends on mood and topic.
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Well you could also meet a woman who already has a child, then you don't have to be afraid of "passing the genes" and still enjoy it, i mean one person easily adopts a child as their own as the other.
And it takes two to raise a child, your partner will also have influence.
And the world is a lot different compared to 40 years ago, if it's more evil i don't know, it's certainly more visible due social media too, i have a steam friend that doesn't want children for the reason the world is now, so i understand it.
Personally it wouldn't stop me, but it's to each their choice, and you can also shield your children atleast to a point.
Well not only with games i have a lot, i also got a lot of consoles (if you want you can check my profile text) like i wanted a c64 maxi to learn basic with my dad (Who unfortunately passed away a couple of years ago) and like i got many ideas of i want to do this or that and it just never gets to it.
Although living in just a 1 room apartment doesn't help either not having even the room to install much, i mean i got so much junk myself i don't even want to think if i do get a partner how there is even room for her stuff. :p.
And yeah not like i am going to ever play all 12000 games i think, i mean offcourse i hope to live a very long life and play them all, but if you know how realistic it is, and for every game you finish, you already got a whole bunch of new ones especially with bundles, i know that feeling.
I always compare it to women buying clothes, they got much already and they still like to shop for clothes, we got many games but we still get them anyway.
I am calling myself "old" so no offense, monday i will be 45, i would gladly trade back to being 33 as then i would have felt i still had time, 45 was kinda my "deadline" even though i know the stories about people still meeting at 45 a woman, get a kid it could technically always happen tommorow still.
Someone else here posted lyrics from pink floyd - time, and then you find 10 years got behind you, noone told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.
May we both find what we are looking for eventually.
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Happy Birthday!!!
Hope you were able to take some time for yourself, and enjoyed your day.
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too early for bday wishes, you can have a bump for now :)
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An early Happy 1-year-closer-to-pension day!
Hope this doesn't bring you bad luck, supposedly in Germany it's considered so.
As you're dutch I think it doesn't count ๐
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Never heard of it, but since i don't work, i don't ever get a normal pension.
Everyone (even if you are rich) do get something called AOW when we hit 67 (although it keeps going up and up) but it's really a small amount, barely enough to have a decent living from.
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I vaguely remember hearing or learning that it's bad luck to wish some a happy birthday or whatever early.
But I'm a Brit (born and grew up here in Germany) so don't need to follow their superstitions ;)
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Happy Early Birthday Lugum! hanks for all that you do for this community :0
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Awesome!!
And no weird music video riddles that no one can solve!!
Happy cakeday
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I feel the same about my birthdays, with a macabre touch about them (mine, not others').
In any case, I really hope you have 364 happy non-birthdays until the next one.
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Happy coming soon Birthday Lugum!
Yoi are ine if the best in the whole community!
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bump and thanks for the casual RPG rec - wishlisted!
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Nothing too special, nothing too fancy (and for me this day is just like any other anyway) dunno if anything is region restricted as usual ifso, forgive me in advance. My birthday is on september 1 and will last till september 1 23:59 my time.
If you want to congratulate me, feel free to do so, i thank you, but i can't reply to everyone.
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/HAPPY?LK0ix/root
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/BIRTHDAYdZ5OI/the-dungeon-of-naheulbeuk-the-amulet-of-chaos
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/MUSICx72n6/trombone-champ
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/GETTINGWAYTOOOLDRsxw8/little-orpheus
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/CAKEfz4eQ/wasteland-3
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/PRESENTSlgRTN/doom-eternal
One gift from a dear steam friend was this: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1307960/Quartet/ Some claim it to be the best rpg of this year, and it's very casual, no random encounters, no difficult grinding or bosses, 30-40+ hours, it's just chill enough.
The previous game Shadows of Adam https://store.steampowered.com/app/506510/Shadows_of_Adam/ i can also really recommend, it's similar but a bit shorter at 15 hours and less characters.
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