I was gonna say a gay joke...

I know someone who speaks like an owl

So this girl leaves the kitchen

"A neutron walks into a bar and ask how much for a drink. The bartender replies "For you, no charge"" -Sheldon Cooper.

gay jokes are a pain in the ass.

The Balrog of Morgoth decides to get a job as a programmer. He walks into a local software developer and asks who he needs to speak to about getting hired. He's directed to the Office of the Head of Recruitment, so he goes up and opens the door to the office. As he looks in, he's taken aback, as the Head of Recruitment is none other than Gandalf.

A bit hesitantly, the Balrog says, "I...was wondering if you were hiring any programmers?"

Gandalf takes one look at him and shouts "YOU! SHALL NOT! PARSE!"

I planned to make a joke about my dick, but it was to long.

This thread is a joke in it's own right...