You have to think of you and your health fist Lugum !
There are often periods when we must take a job just to put food on the table. but don't give up and gain experience and do what you like on the side without fail and it will get you on the right track. Anyways it is my experience. I've been struggling with my desk job for the last 5 years, but I still continued my education and to work on side projects and finally it's paying off now.
I still went through 2 depressions during that time.
I'm with you and I'll pray for your good fortune and good health ;)
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That's my struggle, if it's really something physical (beside the lack of sleep, it's also extremely warm the last months though which isn't helping you sleep better) or just something "between the ears" and a case of "suck it up".
Like i also found a printing job (i am good with computers) but the added travel i think i just have to pass on it, even though could be the job for me i think it would be bad
There is also a 2 day a week job here i could apply for but that isn't really making much food on the table.
I have noone counting on me to bring the food on the table (still live with my parents) because i also don't want a woman to support me, things with a fulltime job i could persue as a partner and kids are my biggest wish in life (and makes a job easier if you got someone to go home to), even though it is a job that isn't giving you a management salary either and if you don't have a somewhat good job financially things could still be a bit of a struggle here. but offcourse it's better then nothing.
I given up on the whole finding a job in the IT scene and working myself up, but i can't keep switching either anymore, at a point you get too old for companies, i never knew what i wanted to be and still don't, i still hope on my own food truck someday i guess, be my own boss.
You still worked through your depressions, how long did they last?
Thanks and prayers to you too. :)
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Social conditions are not great, never really are. I don't know how it is in your country, but here we must have already 5 years experience to get an entry level job wich would be the kind of experience they're searching for...
It's a chance that noone is waiting on you yet, since it means you can, at least a bit, take your time to weigh the options and decide on what you can and want to do. Maybe find someone in the industry or in your line of work you can really talk to to help you sort things out, or maybe get a refferal ?
These were two major episodes where i'd have trouble even getting up, during those I took a leave of absence (around three months each). We are lucky to have a great health system in Canada. But in between them I still was very down and self medicating just to numb the pain. I'd say that each lasted more or less a year.
I had a lot of help from my partner who also suffered from depression. What changed is that we had a baby last summer and this little bundle of joy is really lifting our spirits. We also began practising buddhism with a group of people I knew from school, this also is helping a lot.
Take care friend, the world will get better if we keep fighting ;)
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Used to be like that too here, the market was bad for a long time, even for stuff like warehousing they had plenty of people applying, now they are seeking alot of people such as warehousing, mechanics, Healthcare, cleaning, but for more "educated" work yeah they still often require alot of experience (everyone is seeking such people but you can rarely get that experience).
With my life i don't have much friends (or family in the right places) my network is very small, and i had jobs from construction to computer stuff, and electrics in my last one, it's not just one field making it hard for me to get that entry and the right experiences or with a foodtruck even someone that i could borrow money from, as i don't have any property i don't think i could just knock at the bank.
If i can have a family of my own sometime i can't wait forever either, else i am gonna be 50 with a 20+ year old girl so she still can have children and i don't want that either. :p
Is Canada a country with long winters( which induce the depressions)? I know the feeling of wanting to numb yourself, often seeked it in alcohol (which just makes it worse the day after) or now oxazepam (anything ending with pam is great) but lately i feel the effects less and less, like you with buddishm, i try to believe in spirituality, and that everything has a cause and my life will still turn out for the better but like every human being, and like you with the depression, you just succumb to the evil thoughts too and as you ended with keep fighting, i think after 37 years i am kinda feel beaten and what's now hindering my health and potential jobs.
Grats on the baby may it keep your spirits up.
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Yeah, very long winter.
Network is pretty important not only for work, but for mental health too. I'm sure there's at least one people you can confide in. I really don't want to just throw at you "you should this or that" I think you have in yourself all the information you need to make your next step.
Sometimes you can't wait to start something, you have to make the best of it and work from then on. If having a family is important for you, you have to start somewhere or else, as you say, you'll end up at 50 with regrets. I wish you won't.
Our buddhism is really action oriented even though spirituality and karma are a big part of it. There's this thing about Karma I read which still follows me now. Karma is a bit like writing letters to your future self, when something happens, by trying to view it as positive, you're wirting a love letter to your future self and he'll be the one benifitting from it. We never know where it's going to pay off, but we better start right now to do good for the future......
Anyways I hope I'm not bothering you, I really hope the best for you
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I got some people but it's in the end "only you can make the decisions for youself" and that is true, if i had a wife, a family atleast it was a shared one, but only i know what's supposed to be best for my health (unless it's between my ears) vs good for my career.
I got a shyness from my past being bullied, and again that networking failure plays part in a relationship too, if you got friends, sometimes someone knows someone that could grow into more, or you just go to a pub together and be eachother's wingmen, i am not the type that goes to a pub by himself.
Then there are dating sites that cost like 60 euro a year (which i don't have right now) which contains alot of fakers too, or the weeks of talking first before actually meeting, and i tend to became alot less talkative over the years and am more a man of action and even if i asked someone i barely had the funds to treat a woman on a drink, let alone dinner, with a full time job those things would be more possible.
There was a girl at the supermarket i had interest in, in a wild mood i found her email and mailed her but she kinda responded back angry, there is another girl there but now i am afraid to ask because i don't want a whole supermarket with angry women towards me.
Even if i had some money yeah honestly i wouldn't know where to start when it comes to that.
Sometimes you meet your partner at work, but if you often got job with mostly men, that are things making it even harder.
Yeah that's the big crux, the positivity thing, will things get better or not, only time will tell. If only we had that crystal ball, saying things will get better then it could make certain things alot more bare/bearable.
No, thanks i really appreciate the thoughts exchange, and just someone adressing my bears. :)
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Sorry about the rough patch man. Life has it valleys but it also has it's hills.
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Thanks, some get rougher patches, higher valleys then others though, personally feels like 1 big hill for 37 years, and yes there are people that will stuggle their whole life and still keep standing, sometimes makes you feel defeated and question "why me?" but it is what it is.
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I'd say something but I don't really have anything useful to tell you, so I'll just say that I know what you feel like and it gets better eventually.
Probably. Sometimes it doesn't. But hey, once you hit rock bottom, the only direction you can go is up, right? :)
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Thanks, yeah but if i quit i am then afraid if something else (something better?) will come along, this job has alot of positives too like no shifts, not seemingly having to work in the weekends, the patience for someone having to learn his job.
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Maybe try it and see how it goes if they offer the job to you? I wish you the best of luck!
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Good luck, just try to take life one day at a time. Try not to think too much about what might happen or what could happen. I know for me I get overwhelmed and it just breeds more anxiety which is unproductive. I try to just focus on today and tomorrow and see where it goes from there. Sometimes you might surprise yourself at what you're able to accomplish despite your worries! :)
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I really try every day too, to live by carpe diem, but sometimes the long term plans for myself take over like wanting my own family of a wife and kids.
I know i can accomplish things, i had full times jobs, just how i am feeling lately i haven't felt before, and i am like i am still "young" what if it gets even worse once you get older, like i might be getting rsi too but you are right that worrying, getting angry or just laugh about it, it does not change the outcomes, like on most bad situations (like getting bills when you don't have the money) i have learned that too to not get upset about it anymore.
Thanks.
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Well there is a tendency that even with the right experiences you are often too old for companies when you are 40+ let alone want to learn new jobs without the experience, you just often aren't given a chance and i just had so many different jobs instead of just 1 that isn't helping either.
The talk went different then expected (but in a somewhat positive way) it was asked if i would be open to do other stuff too like cleaning, help at the workplace and if i would become good at the warehouse part i could do that more in the future, but also they are very open for me to start there as some sort of flexworker/parttime. It had to be discussed with some other people first, and one chef had to take his vacation so i have to wait a bit though on an answer.
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Thanks for asking but to keep it short not good, there were some other things like an interview at an aquarium fish distribution, they hadn't decided if they wanted someone extern or intern, but they went for someone intern, but i was with my head with the job i am waiting for 2 1/2 months (where i had 3 interviews, and is in my hometown) after that interview i mailed them and asked if they decided yet but they never responded back, so for the moment i have no prospect (the first week), and not want to get too deep into it.
Decided to quit alcohol (again) permanently since saturday (my birthday) hoping that my health atleast will improve again.
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As some might know from my previous stories, after a long time i finally had some temp work as a flex worker (3 days a week) which last(ed) 4 months and while it had it's struggles, it was money and experience and while it was said i could get less hours during vacation time, though 3 weeks ago it kinda sounded it would be permanent that they aren't taking some of us back, it's still unsure.
I found a coffee machine repair job but quite soon i already found out it wasn't going to be for me, and i am struggling with my health and sleep (got 4-6 hours of sleep a night), it had the same hours as the temp job, so i knew it was not just a "getting used to" situation but with 3 days a week i could catch up, but this one required me alot of overtime and working on saturdays and i felt it would also be bad for my health in the long run.
Then there was still one warehousing job in my hometown, which i already had 2 chats but took awhile for them to get back so didn't know they still wanted me, and they called me today if i was still interested and if i wanted to chat again tommorow, so guessing i am going to get the job if i still want tommorow.
I am scared (seeing bears on the road) as i am still going from 3 to 5 days combined with my health, but this starts at 9:00 so i could atleast catch a bit more sleep (though it also means it ends late) not sure if's a thing i would see myself do the rest of my life, but it's again money, and maybe i should just try it and see (best way of knowing) they also seem to understand and have the patience for someone having to learn the job.
While now i basically got zero cash left and still owing my dad a couple of hundreds and nowhere near in sight on a new graphics card yet, nor i can really afford bundles or much of anything atm, while with a job it's all possible again, but most of all maybe finally a way to some stability.
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/7yOgD/haldor
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