Deleted

Once upon a time steamgifts shutdown... everybody get crazy and start crying... but, MAGIC TRACTOR FIX that :D... and ... we are still here... THE END

One day I stumbled upon a pink dragon eating carrots. When he finished eating he called a rabbit, a boar and a ferret, and then we started playing some Judas Priest, Iron Maiden and Whitesnake songs. We played at the top of the Throat of the World, it was a kickass gig.

THE END

In 40 B.C. Pharoah Ptolemy XV was ruling in Egypt. They were at war with the Byzantine Empire (Later to become the Roman Empire). They fought a long, brutal war. In late 31 B.C., Pharoah realized that he had spent all of his resources and still could not defeat the Byzantines. He knew what he had to do, but he did not want to do it. He went into his palace and retrieved the Star of Egypt. This was a large gemstone which most scholars believe was a diamond. It was found in the quarry when Nebmaatre Amenhotep III was building his pyramid in 1,363 B.C. It was said to be as large as a man's head. This was THE treasure of Egypt, it was in their country for over 1,000 years.

Pharoah took the Star and went to sell it to pay for their continued war against the Byzantines. Pharoah went to the First Pawn Shoppe of Cairo and asked them how much they would give him for the Star. They told him it was worth around 50 Drachmas. Pharoah was outraged. This massive gemstone had been in the kingdom for nearly 1,100 years! He told them that he needed at least 25 million drachmas for it, because this was the Star of Egypt and was considered to be a wonder across the world. He told them "Don't you know who I am!? I am the Pharoah and you WILL give me the price I deserve!" They refused to budge. Pharoah went home both disappointed and relieved. He had kept the Star but knew deep down that his nation would fall. The next year, in 30B.C., Egypt fell to the Byzantines and later became a province of Rome.

The moral of the story is: When you wish to pawn a star, it makes no difference who you are!

So I was dating this pretty and quite shy girl I met at my school, we dated for 3,5 years and things were getting quite serious, suddenly I went to another country for 1 month to improve my language skills and out of the blue she decided to break up with me. Not even two months after the break up I found out she just started making porn photos and movies (remember she used to be shy?) :) now, 5 years later we are both in different countries and happy end - I'm doing better than ever and she has 2 kids with guy twice as old as she is :)

Pony showed up and a space marine ripped he`s heart out without hate just with love.Then Gabe started to dance and won the Grand Prize of valve with Gabes mark.And non of this bad shit makes sense but i was too lazy to write more.

Thx for the chance mate and good luck everyone else ;D

Detective:where are you when the crime happened

Witness:on the cornfield sir

Detective: what are you doing there?

Witness: pooping

Detective: how many steps are you from the crime scene

Witness: Sir its kinda hard

to take steps while pooping

XD tnx for the chance!

Two friends, John and Stu, are talking about Stu’s new motorcycle.

John: Wow dude! Where did you get that great motorcycle?

Stu: I was minding my own business, when suddenly a gorgeous woman rode up on this Harley Davidson Iron 883, jumped off of it, threw the bike on the ground, tore off her clothes and said, “Take what you want!”

John: (nodding in approval) Good choice dude, the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you.

once upon a time there was a gifter, he gifted 9000 skyrims, and a bunch of other stuff, was very active and never broke the rules, and NEVER entered a giveaway, but one time, he saw a giveaway that he couldnt resist, one that was soooooo good he had to enter but he didnt wanna brake his streak, he thought to make an alt acc but that would be breaking the rules so in the end he......

...bought the game, now he's broke, but his money was well spent on....

...fortix...

BUT then, another good giveaway catched his eye, but he didnt wanna enter it, make an alt acc and was broke so he..

..thought, i cant brake SG rules, but i can brake the law!, so he robbed $5 from the bank and grabbed SotMC

awkward story real happent.
if was fapping(masturbating) in my room when i was about to come, i had my headset on and it was realy intense. when suddenlt, my mom came in :| she was screaming so hard and still i came cuz of my sound was still on. realy REALY awkward.

Once upon a pie, I like.

When I was young my mum once asked me to go up to the attic to get something. When I went up there, I felt uneven so I peeked through the gap left by the sheets hanging over the bars next to the stairway up and I saw 2 slippers, that very much resembled those of my (at the time still alive) grandma, sort of walking around, but with no feet in them. I remember clearly what it looked like, and it would be the only figment of my imagination that was so vivid ever if it wasn't real.
Anywho, I ran downstairs, told my mum, and we slowly walked up, her thinking it might be some crazy person who broke in or something, but when we came up there; no sign of them slippers.
Ever since then, I always felt watched and when I slept I saw this human shaped shadow standing over my bed, and pretty much since then I keep seeing things in the dark and feeling watched if I'm alone. Note that this must've been like 15 years ago now.

Being paranoid sucks. (especially if you decide to watch movies like paranormal activity alone in a dark room and always get very much into whatever you're watching XD)

Edit: Lol quite a wall of text I made here :)

One day in winter a hungry Grasshopper applied to an Ant for some of the food which they had stored.

 Why - ,said the Ant, - did you not store up some food for yourself, instead of singing all the time?-

 -So I did,- said the Grasshopper; -so I did; but you fellows broke in and carried it all away.-

There was a boy (not me) who was in love with a girl in his class.
One day at the school, the girl asked the boy (not me) to do a favour for her.
Then she enter the old school building and told the boy (not me) to watch over the door to see if anyone is coming.
He said "Ok, I'll do it".
10 minutes later, he was wondering "why is she taking so long? What's she doing in there?"
So, the boy (not me) peeked through the keyhole and saw the girl having sex with the most popular guy in school.

THE END.

I know it's sad. I'm sorry.

Once upon a time <insert creative and original story here>.

Once upon a time, I walked out my front door, and accidentally tripped over a giant rabbit. I turned to look at what I had tripped over, and noticed that the rabbit was completely green. Naturally, I was absolutely shocked. It then bounded away into the hedges. I shook my head, blaming lack of sleep for this strange occurence. I then continued down my small drive to my gate, which I opened and stepped through, and shut behind me. I looked both ways before crossing the road, and got into my car. I drove the short distance to work, and went about my day. When I had finished, I drove home, parked my car in my usual spot, and approached my gate, which was open and swinging in the breeze. My front door was also open. Terror gripped me, because my girlfriend was at home in bed sick. I went inside, and noticed that the entire house had been torn up and the entire play was a mess. I ran upstairs to our bedroom, and burst through the door. My girlfriend was sitting on the bed, feeling completely better, despite her having the flu and the doctor telling her she would have to stay in bed for a week. And on her knee, was the same rabbit, though no longer green. I know it was the same rabbit, it was just as giant. She was petting it, and looked up as I burst through the door, and told me that he had come inside and wasn't he so cute.

So, who can guess:
Real or not? ;)

Suddenly, a strange feeling , like I been dead ,but how? Last thing i remember i was bit in the forest. Who bit me? I couldn't speak if i tried it was gibberish like i have something in my throat. I got up and i couldn't walk i was slow, i was limping. My clothes were ripped to shreds and my skin was grayish , green i looked down where i was bit i could see the bone, yet i didn't feel pain. I knew where i was , i grew up scouring this forest ever since i was a little boy. It was not far from my house i limped home. Approaching it i noticed it looked beat up, the the front door was open , i remember it being cleaner if not but yesterday or was it yesterday, how long have i been asleep? I got in the house, i would have tried to call someone but i couldn't, it seemed empty anyway. I managed to get to my room on the second floor, walked in and turned the on the light, the electricity still worked , thank god. There was a mirror on my wardrobe door. I went to look at myself. I didn't believe what i saw... My eyes... they where white. I looked dead, i was dead, but i wasnt dead. Suddenly i hear rustling ,it came from my parents room, curious i go to see who's there, slowly, but surely i get to my parents bedroom door. I open the door. get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur.

Three peasants overlied eachother who had the biggest apple in their farm.

• When i putted my apple on the weighing machine, the apple broke it ! - Says the first.
• When i putted my apple on the weighing machine, the apple broke both the machine and the table ! - Says the second peasant.
• When i putted my apple on my wagon...
• What? Did the wagon break ? - Asked the first two peasants.
• No not that, a worm got out of my apple and ate my horse.

This was creepy, because it was real.

So, if you know me, you know that I'm a huge arcade freak.
I'm there as usual, playing my initial d v6 stage AA, and I activate booth PVP mode as I always do. 15 seconds later, the timer ran out (no one was there to vs me), so I was fine, it's cool, I'll just vs NPC.

While midway playing my game, I receive a challenge notice, I look to my right, where my opponent would be... to find no one in the booth.

Slack jawed, I blink, watched as the other booth (my challenger) picked a car, picked a map, and raced against me, was the scariest, most heart beating race, but I won by 5 meters.

I quickly took my card and ran away after that.

Story
A man name Milkin Lived in a Poor town because he is poor,one day his friend were spreading rumour that he is getting married to Nastya
Since he waste Time with Nastya.The father thinks Milkin has come to porpose Nastya Marriage,Milkin Start to Mer-Mer,Milkin tell the father that he is leaving,
Father say's :why are you leaving,Dont you wanna marry my Daugther Nastya.
Milkin: I am a Covict and Trialed for embezzelment of 10440$$
Father: why havent you been Caught?
Milkin:I Changed my Alias on Steam
Father:Thats,Great you can get Married With a New Fresh Start.
Milkin:But,I am mad,marrying a madman is Illegal.
Father:But People who are Mad Dont Speak so Logically
Milkin Though "This Brute Wanna Get Rid of his Daughter any Way"
Milkin:How about if i show you the certificate of my Madness,i will be back in 30 minutes
Milkin Reach his Friend who is a Doctor and Just Fought with his Wife
Doctor:Hello milkin,how can i help you?
Milkin:Kondrashkin(The Father) Want me to get married to his Daughter Nastya,I need you to certified me as Insane/MadMan so i dont get Married.
Doctor:What you dont wanna marry,Then your Wiseman,Only a madmen Wanna get married,
Doctor:I can get your Certified you Mad when you are ready to get Married.
The End (i Cant think of anything else-This Came From Experince)

Le me driving without a licence
Le cop stops me

Me: Whats the officer problem?
The cop looks at me and says:
Cop: Ju... Just just go!

Earlier today I was out for a walk with my dog. I decided to take my woffy to the park. It was 9 in the afternoon. The sun was shining and it was 26°C. It was a real nice evening. I heard a scream far in the distance. Suddently the air was cold and it was misty. My woffy got scared and ran away. I ran after him and yelled "Come here!". He was out of my sight. I walked through the park and yelled his name, but there was no answer. I suddently felt i warm hand on my shoulder. It was scared. I tried to move, but my body wwouldn't! The person had a mask on and a knife in the right hand. The person went for my throat, but went it hit me nothing happened. I found out it was my friend pranking me. -.-

July 16th 1863
Camp Fortworth, Kentucky
Confederate Army

In a hot summer day, a soldier who went by Private Clarke was accused of murdering Sergeant Hills.
He was tried, convicted, and sentenced to death by firing squad. After he was tied to a post, the 5 men were ordered to fire.
When it became apparent he wasn't going to die anytime soon, they were ordered to fire another volley, he still lived.
When the 3rd volley didn't kill him, he started laughing.
4th volley,
5th volley, his laughter was muted by blood, but the sound of it gurgling showed he was still alive.
When the men were reloading for a 6th volley, the officer in charge of the execution had enough. He walked up to him, drew his pistol, and shot him in the face point blank range.
He died.
His body was difficult to move because all the bullets made him heavy. When all was done and night came, none of the men got any sleep.

So when I was a kid there was this old house at the end of my street that my friends and I swore was haunted. I never saw anyone go in or out of that house, but when we'd pass by it at night, there would be strange lights flickering in random windows, and we swore it was ghosts, because, who lived there? And who could move that fast from room to room? Well, as I got older I got a paper route on my street, and although I had never seen a paper on that house's lawn or porch EVER, I noticed they were on my route. So day after day I would ride by on my bike and toss the paper on the porch and ride past to the end of the street. It was a quick turn around, and would ride back past the house in like 15 seconds tops, but when I'd look on the porch again, the paper would always be gone. I'm saying, seriously? and I would just book it home, cause that gave me the creeps.

Well, one day, my curiosity got the better of me, and I say to myself, I have to know who lives in this house. This is just too messed up. So when I get to the house, I toss the paper and wait. Nobody comes. Im waiting for like 5 minutes and nobody comes. And it's eerily silent around me, like I'm not hearing any birds chirping or cars driving by or dogs barking or anything. It's just weird. And I slowly start to ride down the street to turn around and just as I get past the bushes next to their house so I cant see on the porch, I hear this door creak. And I bike back as fast as i can just in time to see the door close. I'm like WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS HOUSE??

So I get off my bike and I have no idea why I did this, but I start walking up to the door of this house. I walk up the steps and each one creaks, and I can hear like this shuffling noise coming from behind the windows. And I'm getting freaked out at this point, but I just have to know who is in this house. I get up to the door and it just smells. I can smell this weird smell, like moth balls and or dead stuff, or something like that. And I knock on the door. But as I knock on the door, it opens a little more with each knock, and I can begin to see inside. There's no lights on inside, and the curtains are pulled, so I push the door open just a little, and I begin to make something out, and I can't believe what i am seeing.

My turn, staring at holes story:
Woman was sitting in bus and it is so hot so she automatically putted her leg bit higher than her other leg. Like she didnt crossed them, but just made space to "catch some wind". And she was wearing skirt, nice short, salomon colored one and white see-through undershirt. She had bra also,but with push-up,but it made her breast bigger and look more sexy. ^^ That's all. And it is true, was staring stealthily. xD

pEOple plays mw3.
Thats crazy enough?