I like seeing notifications. They make me think I have friends.

Awwww, I'll be your friend. Here, have a notification <3

I sometimes hear notifications in my head. They sound like Brian Blessed.

Hello!

another lonely soul :(
hi o/
I hate to hit F5 multiple times but i like to see notifications..
why can't we have live notifications on SG like Imgur..

I will not fall for your little game. You will not be getting notifications from me.
Oh, wait...

I laughed at this, but then I realized I'm just like you.
Then I cried.

Come at me bro!

Here is a notification for you. I'm glad to help another lonely spirit in this wasteland of a world we have.

Here, catch!