Cheesus Christ. Our grate lord.

A llama walks into a bar.
He gets drunk.
Blacks out.
Misses war.

This thread is great.

It's hard to explain metaphors to a kleptomaniac because they always take things literally.

"I'm looking for John."

"Oh yeah he was here but he put an egg in his shoe and...beat it."

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

Ohh, just got one pop in my mind.

The pyromaniac just got fired from his job at the circus.
He started a flame war with his supervisor... Was quite a heated argument, and very in tents.

Two peanuts were walking down the street in the bad part of town. One was a salted.

What did the doctor say to the Mother Carrot after her son ended up in the hospital after a skateboarding accident?
"I'm afraid your son is going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life."

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he never lands.

Damn, that was bad.

A Spanish magician said that he would disappear on the count of three. He started counting, " uno, dos." But before he could finish he disappeared. He vanished without a 'tres'.

you could say Insulting a tree is a knock on wood.

The basket tells the bread You are so incestuous.
The bread says Well, what do you care? You're really square.
The basket replies Typical in bread.

useless threads -> oddllama, pun intended

I tried to make a belt from all my old watches last night, but it was a waist of time...

I had a job at a bakery once...what can I say, I kneaded the dough
I tried to catch some fog once, but I mist
I used to work in a blanket factory too, but it folded
What’s the definition of a will? Oh come on, it’s a dead giveaway!

You know what they say about sex while camping? It's fucking in tents!

I tried to tell the llama ten puns to make him laugh, but no pun intended.

Why couldn't the bicycle stand on it's own? It was two tired.

Murphy's Law: What can go wrong will go wrong.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage

im going to make some breakfast and i dont know what to eat. Spam with spam, or spam with spam or spam on top of it.

"Don't hit a man with glasses. Instead, hit him with a baseball bat." Ok, I stole that one from Shadow Warrior.

So this dyslexic guy walked into a bra.

The leading Tibetan newspaper ha a religious slant to it. But what else would you expect from the Daily Llama ?

This thread is still going? heh you've created a monster oddlamma!

and not a video pun, as typing it out is not as fun
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTwlvqR103c

Did you people pick up such novel wit from a book?

http://www.pokemonrubysapphire.com/_ui/img/_en/august/art/Lopunny.png

Did you hear about the pharaoh who drowned because he refused to abandon his sinking ship? He was in the Nile.

Some people's noses and feet are built backwards
Their feet smell and their noses run.