Seems will be a... (see image below)
there are no gurlz on interwebz
Edit; I will not fall again on a thread about single ladies in my area
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http://www.adultsheepfinder.us/ pop-up spam would be much more tempting, at least sheep exist.
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Erm. I like to fuck girls in their assholes and drink alcohol/smoke/whatever. I mean, fuck playing games when I got a bad bitch in my presence.
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I've always been curious about this preference. I mean sure, it can be nice with some variation at time and it does indeed feel dirtier, even in the right kind of way, but having it as a preference? I just don't get it. Is it predominately people with small dicks which I kind of doubt myself because it doesn't apply to me.
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Don't know where you get that from or if you're just trolling but no, it's certainly not the case here.
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I'm just curious about this preference in general. Sorry if you felt like I was accusing you of having a small dick, that was not my intent.
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Well I don't know, I just like to eat/fuck ass. I mean I love pussy too but I can't really describe it as anymore than a preference or fetish or whatever. It's like those guys that like feet, makes no sense to me.
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Liking feet that way make no sense to me either but I feel it's not as commonly expressed as someone liking to fuck people in the ass is.
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I'm Wolfe, I live in an undisclosed location, I'm anti social and hate you all.
Don't contact me! If you do I'll just reply to you with Nicolas Cage photos cause that's the most disturbing thing on earth!
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Please accept this flower as token of my affection
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I can see us dancing through the night
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Sounds interesting.
My friends call me ubi and I'm living in middenheim.
Have veery long beard, bulging japanese eyes and slim shape.
I don't have anything except my laptop, gonna try to get a green card and make my living in in NY with cab driving job. Or go to japan for trying to live in 6 m2 area. I didn't decide yet.
I don't even know why would you choose me, i mean, I'm just a smartass with master's degree in computer science and bioinformatics. I don't even wanna go out from house, just sitting there, cooking, cleaning house, ironing, dusting, translating some dude named Kierkegaard to Turkish (I'm turk btw), and playing dnd with my friends.
Oh and I'm giving algorithm and robotic lessons to children. But just for living, you know, i realized i need money.
Anyway, c2.me/ubiwan is my contact, which you could write me anonymously, i don't wanna know if you are pretty or not. Or bearded. Or an alien. Or a bad rat. Maybe potato. I like potatoes.
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I feel personally attacked by that last statement. :(
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Oh please, i said "a bad rat". You are the baddest rat, my dear, and you are special.
You are "the rat".
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Honestly, I don't like potatoes. The only potatoes that I have been able to eat are scalloped potatoes with cheese or mashed potatoes loaded with brown gravy.
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What is the point of ironing if you don't get out of your home? Like, do you stand in front of the mirror and admire how well ironed your clothes are?
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Dude, i never said i live alone...
Im ironing my family's thingies. And I'm good at it.
And yes, after ironing completes, checking them in front of the mirror if there's any missed parts...
Are you spying on me?? Cuz im little scared here...
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I am not spying on you, yet. Congrats on your masters degree man, I know things at your country aren't going well, keep it up.
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Oh thank you, we are trying ro find justice and equality on these lands, but unfortunately it's becoming like north korea day by day. I mean, hell, our president is saying 'we could come to you one night and destroy you' to people who are opposing him? So, every sane person need a green card to get the hell out of here, i suppose.
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My country is slowly going towards there too. Our generation and the previous ones are a bit fucked up in the head so if you are teaching children, remember they are the future and hopefully wont be as stupid as we grown ups.
Strong and critical minds that resist indoctrination is what they need in my opinion.
Stay safe man.
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I think this fucked up minds are a problem for every nation. For instance, my students are so spoiled and don't listen to any subject, just eant to play some stupid games with their ipads. They don't have any interest, ambition or dream in anything, but as their teachers, we are trying our best.
Thanks for your concerns, i hope our next generations aren't gonna as fucked up as we think. But with this kind of education system, attitude of parents and systematical government, i cannot see the light at the end of road.
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I don't think I would want my thingie ironed even when I'm old and it has a lot of wrinkles.
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Just trust me and let me handle it. You'll be satisfied with the results.
We have a saying for ironed clothes, "like a razor". It will be like a razor, if you know what I'm saying, trust me ;)
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I'm worried I might cut my partner in that case. However if you use enough starch it should stiffen it right up.
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Okay so I'm looking for a caucasian male. Here are my humble requirements:
-be muscular
-be rich
-be good in bed
-must have a beautiful manly face
-must have a big nice tool
-must love animals, especially cats
-must wear stylish formal vintage clothes
-must take a shower at least twice a day
-must be a great cook
-must be a great singer
-must obey my commands
I'm pretty sure these requirements are not too ambitious.
If you want to live with hideous, fat, no-lifer woman and you are matching my criteria, please don't hesitate to contact me. Otherwise, scram!
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Too bad, I'll never be able to love cats. Childhood trauma.
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If you don't worship our cat overlords then sorry but we can't procreate.
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Two showers a day, woman?
Do you think that water grows on trees?
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Yep. I fail to see why would it be so hard to fulfill ALL the requirements.
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[checking the list]
Uh, would you settle for 2 out of 11? I can definitely start taking a 2nd shower every day.
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What? so you want a top-tier woman such as myself for 2? Hah, pleb.
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I fulfill one of the requirements, I am good in bed, and by that I mean I am very good at sleeping.
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10/11...damn.
Not every day you see a Lili: Child of Geos avatar.
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It's not a Lili avatar, this is me. It's my selfie.
You know what? I can forgive you that one missing criteria because I know you are a good slave of the almighty cat overlords. That kitty is supercute and I remember you linked me the full picture once where the other kitty was visible too. Maybe we should get married, believe me I'm the perfect woman you always wanted.
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LOL, I remember linking the full shot at one point-- that was you? So glad you remember it!
Sadly, I was exaggerating my results.
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Oh, you mean you lied, and you fulfill only 9 out of 11? Sorry, but your princess is in another castle then.
Seriously yeah it was me and I still have that picture somewhere in my kitty folder. It's just supercute. I even remember that you said something sad like they are no longer with you anymore? :'(
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That's correct. I was actually never their human; they lived at a friend's house. But I had visitation rights. The Maine Coon was always a fluffy ball of love (like most Maine Coons) but avatar-cat was a bit more reclusive. That all changed when I fed her some fish one day; after that, she gave me a chance and would always come out when I visited and let me pet her, since I'd demonstrated that I acknowledged her rank as an overlord.
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Do I really have to be politically correct even in a stupid joke post?
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So is it awfully specific to prefer caucasians? Should I say sorry for not finding other ethnicity attractive?
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ethnicity
Ethnicities* you mean.I was actually joking at first, but if you are genuinely asking that question then you've got issues I don't really want to get into:).
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I check the box on most of these. If I commit does it mean I will have to move to Keeling Islands?
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Oh, really? You will have to pass the job interview first.
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if you want to find a guy who love cats, you should delete the half of your list. but not the 2nd half.
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this dog's photo is funny, thats why its my profilepic. and yeah, i like dogs much more better than cats. kitties are cute. nothing more i can say about cats, unfortunatelly :/ and you know,sometimes people are separeted into dog/cat poeple. and there is a reason behind it. i didnt say cat people are worse. cats often just uses people. even the indoor cats. so yeah, they are cute as a kitten. then you get used to them. and 1 more sentence to make you mad: all cat wanted to be a dog, when they are born.
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Too bad you don't have Insult simulator!!! Abban most jól megvertelek volna meg leszidtam volna a felmenőidet!
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azthiszed nyertél,mert hirtelen megtanultad a nyelvemet? kihívlak egy fekvőtámasz versenyre! akinek előbb érinti a bimbije a földet, veszít.
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- I love animals, especially cats.
- I wear stylish formal vintage clothes made of stylish vintage cats.
- I take a shower at least twice a day, because wearing vintage cats doesn't make me smell too good. But still, it's worth it for being so stylish.
- I can cook cats quite well. I make a mean baked cat. (Main ingredient is a mean cat.)
- I sing great, if you like the singing style of cat mating calls.
- I obey commands as well as any cat.
- I'm great in bed, in a feline way. (I could sleep all day, then stretch, get some pats and food and then go back to sleep.)
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You can't fool me you bug ridden smelly dog, why don't you go outside and chase your tail?
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I... I'm not sure if this thread is going to work out.
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What could possibly go wrong?
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To my future love.
Hi. I hate everyone but most of all myself. My self esteem is non-existent but at the same time I am convinced that I am better than everyone else.
I am a man who was born to achieve greatness. My greatest ambition here on Steamgifts is to learn shitposting.
All things considered, you should totally hit me up, you lucky lucky girl.
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That's a great ambition. I really love hard working ambitious men. I hate everyone too, we should hate everyone together!
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You were already on my whitelist, now you're on my datelist too *wiggles eyebrows
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Thank you. ;P Also, oh, oh, come here baby. Call on me anytime! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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Well, there are some well known SG couples(and others less known) good idea!
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hi im bob. i dont have a home but u can find me wandering around lumby or near teh ge showing off my sick dance moves and asking randos for "phr33 st00f pl0x" i aint no noob, imma gansta. im looking for someone so i no longer need to stand in the ge saying "buying gf"
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Hello, I may not be the most suitable person to date, but I can make you feel better about yourself when you are around me, since I make a lot of self-deprecating jokes you will stop feeling bad about yourself and start hating me instead, which works out. Also my jokes land 1 out of 26 times, so I guess I'm the next Louie CK.
I'm not super attractive, but you've probably seen worse. At least you won't have to worry about someone else stealing your man when I'm around.
I also have cookies, please love me.
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self-deprecating jokes
Are you a broken refrigerator?
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My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
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Hi, my name is... the.. War Mage... Yeah, I'm not sure I have a name--that's just what people call me.
After I saved the kingdom from an orc invasion, I was relegated to working in the dwarven mines. My typical day includes mining, trying not to trip over dwarves, and wondering if it was all worth it.
I'm just waiting for the day I find out my mentor hadn't died after all, and meeting an attractive sorceress to team up with against the revived orcish horde... and also settle down with her and make war mage babies.
I'm the best there is at what I do--not mining, per se, I was mostly referring to slaying orcs. So, I've got that going for me... which is nice.
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I only want a true and sincere love,but here in HUEZIL most girls are so annoying u.u
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I don't know if anyone would be interested in me, but here it goes.
I am a humble Serb that owns a small taxi company in New York. My cousin has just moved to the city to enjoy a new life. I am 31 years old and I enjoy bigger women. My cousin is a little reckless, but overall he is a very nice man.
Here is a list of everything I want in my woman:
- An overweight girl, but not too big. I am a small guy.
- Must live in New York
- Must eat hot dogs for breakfast every day
- Must always answer my phone calls
- Must bail me out of sticky(dangerous) situations
This last one is a make or break: - MUST LOVE BOWLING
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Sticky as in cheesy?
And yeah, I don't fulfill all of that criteria.... But I love bowling :]
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This again? No one turned up at my door the last time I replied to a topic like this. I call scam
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Why pick me? Cause it's my cake day.
Edit: Cakeday's over T_T
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I went to La Española, where I had to put down a rebellion, then I went to México. I wanted to explore, to establish good relations with everybody, and to go boldly where no (civilised) man had gone before. I actually made a point to be nice to everybody. But I got in the middle of a civil war between the aztecs and everybody. The situation was too good to pass up. I wanted a clean conquest for the spanish crown. I ended up killing civilians, fighting against my own men and losing my soul in the process. I moved (with 50.000 in gold), back to Spain. So, I am back in Spain. tending my wounded heart.
My hobbies are simply videogames and series.
My lover should pick me because... I don't know. I am nice to everybody. All genocide is strictly in self-defense.
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I created a thread some time ago lying you about a new dating site for gamers. Of course it was a troll thread but some comments made me laugh a lot and made me think that a lot of people would enjoy something like that.
Now I had this (sick) idea of creating a thread to make you smile.
All the singles of SG will have to introduce themselves to their future love in this thread BUT they'll have to do it in a funny way! Rules are simple:
-think of a videogame and describe where you live there (ex. Hi I'm Steve and I have a castle near Whiterun)
-tell your future love about your job, your hobbies and describe maybe a common day of yours
-tell your future love why s/he should pick you as a lover
Just think of something funny! And who knows, someone on the other side of the earth (who you'll probably never meet) might find you funny and get in contact with you! Try your luck now!
Of course there's a Gib for you folks. Think about contributing to this thread, because gifts are always welcome and might impress your love!
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/LdIBZ/
P.S. non-single people can do it for fun ;)
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