Screw Depression & Anxiety (Level 0 - 10 Giveaways!)

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All the best with your constant battles. Hopefully, better things are on the horizon for you. have a big fat BUMP!

screw it 😃

Damn... I'm glad there's someone special for you. Good luck.

Forget about not being good enough. You are good enough. You share the gift of gaming with the world! Your giveaways make me happy :)

fuck depression

Fuck this chicken sandwich, too. They put too much mayo on it, and the meat keeps sliding out the other side.
Laughter is the best medicine. As someone told me just a couple weeks ago, it heals wounds we can't even see.

OPEN WITH NEW GIVEAWAYS AND SONGS! <3

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I am so sick of feeling depressed, sick, trapped, like I am suffocating daily.

I feel you. I've been there not so long ago as well. I'd like to share my story, maybe it'll be some inspiration for other depressed people. For me the worst part about depression is that it actually feels good to feel bad in some weird way. Therefore I was looking for signs that everything is wrong.

Tired of faking a smile for people who don't give a damn about me.

I used to tell it to myself a lot as well. Then I realized people actually did care, it was just me who didn't let them to into my heart. I was constantly judging them for not being supportive enough and at the same time I've never said "thank you" when they've asked me how do I feel. I also realized they did not own me anything – I've never showed them it is worth it to hang out with me. I wanted them to show me that they are "worthy" hanging out with me, lol. Insane thinking: they didn't need me, I did need them, and yet I wanted them to prove themselves to me. I didn't give them any reason to support me and yet they've showed me attention. I figured it was actually me who didn't give attention to anyone but myself. I was so focused on my pain I couldn't anything see through it.

I know no one can save me except me.

It is so true! I've felt exactly same way – it is me who needs to want to save myself in the first place. I've felt that without it nothing could really help me. I've imagined mental health as physiological health. To stay healthy I need to eat good quality food and work out on the gym. Once I'll stop going on the gym I'll start to regress. Once I'll start to eat junk food I'll start to regress. I've asked myself why we, people, never think the same way of our mental health. To stay mentally healthy I need to feed my brain with good quality "food" – positive thoughts, positive people, positive everything. I need to cut out junk that comes into my head. And I need to "work out" which means it won't be rainbows and unicorns, getting in shape needs a lot of hard work and pain during and after the trainings. But after a few months I will look so much better and staying in the same shape is sooooo much easier then. At first it takes a lot of effort. A lot.

I don't want to be saved, I want you to just say screw it with me.

I, for one, wanted to be saved. I've started with getting rid of the "junk food" in my head first. I've imagined myself as a guy lost in the weird, scary forest. My bad thoughts were deamons who were attacking me and eating my body. I was scared of them and I was trying to run away. I was hiding but in the end the deamons always have been finding me. They've got me again and I've had enough of running so I just accepted it, they will eat me. Weirdly enough I've stopped be scared of them this way and they've suddenly stopped biting too. I figured they only bite when I let them to. They were ready to attack anytime though so if I'd lose my concentration, they'd be biting me again. So I've imagined myself on a weird, dark throne in the middle of the weird, dark woods. On my left and right side the deamons have been sitting, creating kind of corridor between them. I was looking at them keeping their temper at bay, trying to keep my fear away from me and being confident I can keep them away from me. I've called this image "The King of the Forest" to remind me that I am in control – I am the king and I rule this dark forest which is my mind. And I was recolling this vision anytime I needed to boost my confidence, imaging I am sitting on this weird throne. It was the first part of my return to normality – keeping the deamons at bay, emptying my mind completely from all the feelings.
Then I've started the second part: once my head was empty, I've started to fill it with positivity. I cannot lie that huge part in it have had improv theatre. Right before I've attended my first classes I've had a break up of a serious relationship. And this break up was such a mess... It was really bad. But I was in the middle of the first part of my fight with depression so I've decided to finally do something for myself. I knew I don't have abilities to be funny guy who will make up all the jokes spontaneuosly but I didn't care. I've had to do it. Later it turned out I have all the necessary abilities and I am actualy pretty good in improv. Like really good. So it was again my negative thinking that I am worth nothing. I've started to use improv rules in real life: saying yes to (almost) everything (that's how I've met my actual girlfriend), caring for my people I am talking with to feel comfortable with me, genuinly listening and caring of what they say etc. And I hugged a lot – it was one of the most important thing for me, because being close to somebody makes this positive, warm atmosphere and it feels like we've been friends forever. Improv was also good for me cos there is a lot of positivity, truth, caring, support and accepting that you can actually be your true self and fill your mind with good, quality "food" ;) And it turns out that being yourself is the best way to approach people cos they will love you for that – they're gonna like you for being just plain normal even more than for being cool. Cos it turns out that normal is cool :P
Additionaly I've had this thought in my head that I know how it is to be sad, so I'll just try to make people happy just for the sake of seeing their smile. And it was my part 3: making people feel good around me. I was trying to look for good in everything and everyone, instead of trying to convince myself everything is wrong and bad. Well, actually I still do it, even more than before. My kindness was widely appreciated and everybody wanted to be around me – what a nice change after being completely antisocial. And that's when I realized that when I am genuinly giving, I'm receiving a lot more that I could ask for. Of course I didn't do it to cure my depression. I just did it to honestly make people's lives a little bit better.

I love you. <3

Believe it or not, I love you too :) By the way, not so long ago I've also learned tha believing people is so much easier and healthier. I don't waste my life on reading people's minds and investigeting wether they were honest or not. I took for granted they are honest and the problem's resolved. If it turns out they weren't, well, I don't really care cos I was prepered for that, they've had their reasons to put it in a short way. Not trying to say that I respond to these Nigerian king e-mails though :P

Depression Song I Wrote Feel free to listen to it if you want, if not that's fine too! :)

Actually it is pretty damn good melody line! I wish there would be some music in it, because it simply is genuinly good. Your voice is also so nice, although it shakes a little while you're singing. With lyrics like this and emotional performance you could get to many people's hearts. Maybe it'd even make them understand they're not alone with their problems – there are more people like them, feeling exatly same way. Go and develop your talent, it might turn out that you're great at it too, just like I was surprised with the level of my improvisation!

/walloftext

While I understand that there is a genuine need to vent and laugh like Tidus in FFX, I don't believe oversharing such as this is productive and beneficial. There are many folks here (even in this thread) that feel genuine compassion and empathy for you but at the end of the day, it doesn't bring anything new to the table.
My honest advice is to go seek some therapy, there are many medical professionals who finished years of schooling and they're very good at what day do. It is a long and enduring process that takes years, decades - maybe even a lifetime of trying out and seeing what sticks but this kind of internet oversharing can be a slippery slope that can lead to being addicted to a quick fix in form of imaginary pats on the head from internet strangers. And it just goes on and on.

Linkin Park - Leave Out All The Rest

Chester... :'(

Keep your head up and be the best you can FOR YOU.
Not what everyone expects from you.

I understand your words.

Be always kind to yourself. You are the most important person in your life.

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Well I've started to look at it as a feature of life, I wonder if it goes away, if not, life goes on anyway
also on a note for depressing songs, do you happen to know Uaral?

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I can assure you have my support

Screw them both! :)

I'm not gonna pretend like I can give advise cause I barelly manage to keep the damn thing at bay right now, but keep up the fight.

Not entering anything but just wanted to bump the thread for some awareness or something. I have severe anxiety and my fiance has major depression. we literally just had to have him hospitalized tonight. hopefully if anyone out there feels like they need help, please get it. and if your doctor doesn't listen, get a new doctor. I'd really hate for anyone to be going through any of this