The problem about opening personal feelings on the Internet is the opportunity to be harassed by individuals with anonymity. The Internet is not a safe space and will never be. Why take the chance? Family and friends exist to help out in dangerous times and are more knowledgeable about the person in need than random people on the Internet.
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Unless it is family and / or friends who put you in that situation (speaking from experience).
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You have a point. On the other hand, not all friends and family will be siding with the harasser. Furthermore, there are telephone hotlines and locations which provide more private assistance if friends and family cannot be of help.
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There are no means of assistance for a person of my age or gender.
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I'm male and not disclosing my age here. There are no places you can get support for people in my situation.
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In what area? Local? County? Province? National? And for what reason - depression, gambling, drug abuse?
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None of the above reasons, and certainly not disclosing my location.
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I wasn't trying to antagonistic, I simply meant he was feeding off of your continued comments. The only one who could stop that chain was you.
My bad though, on a reread it was the other poster who was pushing.
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He was trying to point out that going to friends and family isn't always the best choice and sometimes seeking help on community forums on the internet in other ways is best.
He didn't ask for people to pry on his personal life that he doesn't want to share clearly.
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He made a point and gave a source of his own experience. That is all. If he wanted to give details he would. If I said I had a penis would you ask for more details? lol
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I need to know the context of the person's situation, so I can figure out if the person is truly unable to receive assistance for himself in his community. I should have explained earlier why I was being persistent.
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There are things which are frowned upon by community. For example, in many countries it's considered shameful to be raped if you're male, it's a sign of weakness and this stigma will follow you your entire life so majority of victims never tell it to anyone, even to the closest of friends and relatives.
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not all friends and family will be siding with the harasser.
I don't think it's a good idea to test which ones do and which ones don't.
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The issue isn't the OP is the people that harass. Its a call for help, not a chance to be hurt. Sometimes its better to talk to a stranger then to talk to someone close, I've learned this by experience... Ironically SG
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It's never okay to be mean or rude to someone, no exceptions EVER. A call for help is a call for help and anonymity exists in many forms, the internet being the most accessible and common form. It's not like it's weird to turn to the internet.
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I'm here for you, Jennifer. Talk if you need to vent.
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Threads like this are why I try to be nice to everyone on the internet.
You never see what is going on in somebody's life, only what their internet persona is.
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The criticism is involving the reader when the reader has not done anything(most likely) in particular to instigate harshness.
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Ah, the myth of the innocent bystander. We all bear responsibility for the climate of this site. If there's a problem that needs to be fixed and someone is harmed by its not being fixed and we could have prevented that harm by refusing to continue to participate, and we continue to use it anyway, to create and enter giveaways, to create and respond to forum posts, then we bear responsibility for that harm.
Thus there are no accidents in life; a community event which suddenly bursts forth and involves me in it does not come from the outside. If I am mobilized in a war, this war is my war; it is in my image and I deserve it. I deserve it first because I could always get out of it by suicide or by desertion; these ultimate possibles are those which must always be present for us when there is a question of envisaging a situation. For lack of getting out of it, I have chosen it. This can be due to inertia, to cowardice in the face of public opinion, or because I prefer certain other values to the value of the refusal to join in the war (the good opinion of my relatives, the honor of my family, etc.). Anyway you look at it, it is a matter of a choice. This choice will be repeated later on again and again without a break until the end of the war. Therefore we must agree with the statement by J[ules] Romains, “In war there are no innocent victims.” -- Jean-Paul Sartre
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That's a really well done scene, thanks for sharing. I'm curious, though, what you think it shows?
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I assume this is based on the life of Zell Kravinsky, a man who not only donated most of his $45 million real estate fortune to charity, but also donated one of his kidneys to a complete stranger. He was profiled in the New Yorker ("The Gift," 2 August 2004), and later in the New York Times Magazine (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/17/magazine/17charity.t.html):
“He [Kravinsky] comes across as anguished by the failure of others to see the simple logic that lies behind his altruism. Kravinsky has a mathematical mind—a talent that obviously helped him in deciding what investments would prove profitable—and he says that the chances of dying as a result of donating a kidney are about 1 in 4,000. For him this implies that to withhold a kidney from someone who would otherwise die means valuing one’s own life at 4,000 times that of a stranger, a ratio Kravinsky considers ‘obscene.’ What marks Kravinsky from the rest of us is that he takes the equal value of all human life as a guide to life, not just as a nice piece of rhetoric.”
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Yea! Fuck everyone. I like it.
dunno what's goin on, but hope it gets better. people suck.
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nah, you already part of our world. the attempt to push us away will not succeed at this point. :D
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but calling people cunts and saying "fuck you"
a great way to ask for help.
Well, "you all are vaginas, and I want to be able to find myself inside you" is clearly more clever phrasing, but I'm not sure the OP is in a position in which they would have given consideration to the merits of a wittier approach.
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Each depression case is unique. Some have symptoms that others do not. Some medication works for others, some need higher dosages, some can self help, some need therapy, some just need attention, some try to take their life to stop it etc. So maybe he just has more or other symptoms than you do, maybe he is paranoid, self conscious, quick tempered or otherwise. I know when I was at my worst I thought nobody cared, nobody wanted to help but it was all in my head. Probably the same with Jennifer.
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I'm not asking for help. And it's directed at certain people that aren't part of here and just people in general . But this is really the only place I can tell people to fuck themselves for thier bullshit.
But I can't help myself and always go back to and chase people who don't care. The only way for me to not is if the completely hate me. So please do. Please don't be fake and pretend to care for a depressed person you don't know.
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tried attending a poetry club or do some music?
those can be nice catharsis outlets for depression, speaking from experience.
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"Please don't be fake and pretend to care for a depressed person you don't know."
There are people out there who genuinely don't mind trying to help others. Don't just assume.
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Reminds me of when I received a chat message of how I didn't care about someone on my friend list and I never chat with them. The irony was that she added me originally out of the blue and never really answered my original question of why, I just kinda forgot to later remove her when I purged the "???" marked users. I still have no idea who the heck she even was.
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ok, well, that escalated quickly...
i don't know you Jennifer, but you're clearly hurting there and i doubt internet is the best place to get the help you need.
i strongly advise you to call a suicide hotline and talk things through with people who better know how to help you.
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Pretty much this. Please seek for help. The phone line it's a great place to start
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You're not thinking clearly, please calm down. Take a breather.
You guys cared when I attempted suicide, wanted me here, but that's only 'cause I stupidly said something while I tried. Noone else even notices when I'm gone though, hell the only time y'all did was when thr magnificent one told you.
I've always cared for you simply because you're a kind, funny and caring person. Only, I honestly couldn't know about what you were going through, because you've never really opened up to me. The fact that you wanted to take your life incited panic at the thought of losing you, but that does not mean I didn't care for you before I even knew anything about this.
I hate being alone but it's so much better than dealing with your awful bullshit and fake caring just to lead me one to feeling cared about enough to live on when you won't even fucking talk to me
I'm unsure if you are talking about a specific person or a few persons specifically. I don't ignore people, if they want to talk I'll never refuse to listen. You've never reached out to me, and the fact that I haven't reached out to you does not mean that I don't care - I'm a very shy person and never add anyone on Steam, I let people add me and I'll gladly accept. I'm sorry if you felt that this meant I don't care. This wasn't my intentions.
I'm done feeling sorry that I can't enjoy your happiness
Food for thoughts - how can you be so certain all of us are happy? For a while, I was unhappy as fuck, but I maintained a happy "persona" here, even though I felt like complete shit. Not everything is what it appears to be, I bet most of people here are poor miserable fuckers who pretend to be happy.
I don't want to be too blunt with you, but I will - what you're saying is bullshit. Please think it through. I don't like seeing you like this, and I honestly, very honestly want you to have a better life. You don't deserve to feel this way, and you don't deserve to think this way. Yes, SG is full of self-centered assholes. But most of us are also honest and actually mean what we say.
As always, feel free to add me to talk, I'm always there to listen, although I don't speak much myself.
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I like how you seem to be leaving positive comments throughout the whole topic and that you actually engage in real conversation on this thread.
Need more people like you ^__^.
+1
and naturally also a +1 for jbondguy for sharing an in-depth opinion on the original text.
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poor miserable fuckers who pretend to be happy
We have been summoned! pmfs unite!
ugg too much uni work is making me a poor miserable fucker indeed, though that's probably mostly due to me procrastinating,
just gotta keep telling myself soooon it will be summer holidays and then the procrastinating can really begin!
oh i'm gonna binge watch Netflix something fierce
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They're not all fake. Weird bunch sometimes, but really caring and giving.
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" I hope you become unhappy and alone just so you know what it's like." hmhm, been there, done that...
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Making this comment will make me feel bad, but I thought about that when you decided to submit this you made a conscious choice to choose Off-Topic for it and I thought it was a bit funny. Out of whatever emotion you typed this from, you still chose Off-Topic..
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As someone with extensive experience with both the hurting and the ill, the manner by which you're expressing yourself is symptomatic of mental illness, rather than of personal pain. Sometimes the hardest thing with mental illness is being able to recognize you have it.
Take the time to get yourself checked out- at worst, they clear you, and you can come back here and "rub it in my face".
At best, things will improve significantly for you.
In the meantime, noone can give you the feedback you're looking for, if you're not in a position where that feedback would help.
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Your presence has always been pleasent, I hope you know that people still appreciate you even if try to push them away.
I know it doesn't matter, but I heavily sympathize with your situation and wish you the best. Nobody deserves to feel like that.
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There always is an alternative in every situation, tomorrow might turn out better.
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Everything Is Awful and I’m Not Okay: questions to ask before giving up
Are you hydrated?
If not, have a glass of water.
Have you eaten in the past three hours?
If not, get some food — something with protein, not just simple carbs. Perhaps some nuts or hummus?
Have you showered in the past day?
If not, take a shower right now.
If daytime: are you dressed?
If not, put on clean clothes that aren’t pajamas. Give yourself permission to wear something special, whether it’s a funny t-shirt or a pretty dress.
If nighttime: are you sleepy and fatigued but resisting going to sleep?
Put on pajamas, make yourself cozy in bed with a teddy bear and the sound of falling rain, and close your eyes for fifteen minutes — no electronic screens allowed. If you’re still awake after that, you can get up again; no pressure.
Have you stretched your legs in the past day?
If not, do so right now. If you don’t have the spoons for a run or trip to the gym, just walk around the block, then keep walking as long as you please. If the weather’s crap, drive to a big box store (e.g. Target) and go on a brisk walk through the aisles you normally skip.
Have you said something nice to someone in the past day?
Do so, whether online or in person. Make it genuine; wait until you see something really wonderful about someone, and tell them about it.
Have you moved your body to music in the past day?
If not, do so — jog for the length of an EDM song at your favorite BPM, or just dance around the room for the length of an upbeat song.
Have you cuddled a living being in the past two days?
If not, do so. Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from friends or friends’ pets. Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you’re not imposing on them.
Do you feel ineffective?
Pause right now and get something small completed, whether it’s responding to an e-mail, loading up the dishwasher, or packing your gym bag for your next trip. Good job!
Do you feel unattractive?
Take a selfie. Your friends will remind you how great you look, and you’ll fight society’s restrictions on what beauty can look like.
Do you feel paralyzed by indecision?
Give yourself ten minutes to sit back and figure out a game plan for the day. If a particular decision or problem is still being a roadblock, simply set it aside for now, and pick something else that seems doable. Right now, the important part is to break through that stasis, even if it means doing something trivial.
Have you seen a therapist in the past few days?
If not, hang on until your next therapy visit and talk through things then.
Have you been over-exerting yourself lately — physically, emotionally, socially, or intellectually?
That can take a toll that lingers for days. Give yourself a break in that area, whether it’s physical rest, taking time alone, or relaxing with some silly entertainment.
Have you changed any of your medications in the past couple of weeks, including skipped doses or a change in generic prescription brand? That may be screwing with your head. Give things a few days, then talk to your doctor if it doesn’t settle down.
Have you waited a week?
Sometimes our perception of life is skewed, and we can’t even tell that we’re not thinking clearly, and there’s no obvious external cause. It happens. Keep yourself going for a full week, whatever it takes, and see if you still feel the same way then.
You’ve made it this far, and you will make it through. You are stronger than you think.
.
.
.
This is a tool I have utilized many times. I did all of the text editing on my phone, right now, just for you. I sincerely hope you feel better soon.
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You forgot the number one rule of immediate responses to feeling shitty-
Even if things are not technically "better", bad situations are nearly always far more manageable after getting some sleep.
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unless your sleep is full of nightmares and you always end up more exhausted right when you wake up, of course
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That's a different topic. Sleep in itself can be demanding, or even outright torturous, depending on circumstances. But the body uses sleep to correct irregularities in the body, and often things seem far more extreme simply because we're out of balance and exhausted. It doesn't mean the situation improves, and it doesn't mean that sleep makes us feel any better at the core, it just means that things don't inherently overwhelm us as easily- which means we can consider more productive ways of dealing with them.
Of course, sometimes sleep really does 'fix everything'- sometimes we're so stressed out that every little thing overwhelms us, and those 'feathers' are doing more to strain us than anything significant is.
It's not a magic cure-all, but it's probably going to do quite a bit more for you than drinking a glass of water, taking a selfie, forcing yourself to write an e-mail, forcing yourself to say something nice to someone, or forcing yourself to dance will. :X
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Stuff like this is why I thought you were much older than you are. Good stuff.
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Well now why'd you have to go and chop down the pillar I've set him on? sigh
Sorry doc, guess you're getting demoted to the unwhitelisted.
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Alrighty, but I didn't claim it as my own, nor did the person who originally sent it to me. It's a simple tool that helps make sure you're taking care of yourself on a basic level.
"Copypasta" or not, it's genuine advice for dealing with depression.
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Have you cuddled a living being in the past two days?
Hahaha, that's what I fucked up. Guess what I was supposed to do today but ghosted and worried one of the few people who cared?
Do you feel unattractive?
Take a selfie. Your friends blah blah blah
Hahahahahahah
Have you seen a therapist in the past few days?
If not, hang on until your next therapy visit and talk through things then.
Hahahahahahahaha. My doc made me wait a month to see him thrn cancelled yesterday. And it doesn't even fucking matter, pysch don't fucking care, they only want you to be on anti depressants then eveything will wotk out. But anti anxiety drugs and hrt you'll never fucking get. Even when he makes you go full time you're still not ready. Hmo's are fucking wonderful.
Have you changed any of your medications in the past couple of weeks, including skipped doses or a change in generic prescription brand? That may be screwing with your head. Give things a few days, then talk to your doctor if it doesn’t settle down.
What? Are you telling me the anti deppresents I don't need but kerp getting as an end all soltuions by pyschs who dont listen don't wotk? And have side effects that affect your mood which is why I had concerns and didn't want to take them but was brushed off, bit somehow the increased emotions of hrt are too much for me to ever get it?
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Psychiatrists are not the same as psychologists or as "therapists".
Psychologists perform psychotherapy, a.k.a. talk therapy. Psychotherapy is also performed by licensed therapists, counselors, and social workers. Finding the "right one" can be a matter of trial and error, but these are the guys you should be spending most of your time talking to, not psychiatrists.
Psychiatrists are medical doctors, a.k.a physicians, who specialize in the use of psychiatric medications. They typically don't do much psychotherapy and mostly just deal with medicines and/or the more sick people, like psychotic folks. Don't rely on your psychiatrist for psychotherapy. Very rarely, you may find a psychiatrist that performs 45+ minutes of talk therapy with each of their patients.
P.S. I hope things get better soon
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Anti-depressants - it's trial and error to get the right persciption that works for you. If it doesn't work, you go back and try something else. It's frustrating, but if it were instant, you'd be a miracle person. Seriously. But, if you don't want to take them, don't take them.
Psychiatrists - if your just throws pills at you and you don't like it, don't see them. See a therapist instead. They cannot prescribe medication. They are there to talk and help you come up with tools to get through life. Just like medication, the first one you meet with may not work for you. If whatever professional you're seeing brushes you off, they are NOT helping, and you should find someone else who will respect what you are feeling and saying.
Cuddling - if you can't cuddle a person for one reason or another, there are other things to cuddle. Pet therapy exists for a reason, so cuddle a pet. Cuddle a stuffed animal. Cuddle a pillow. Just cuddling is a comfort. You don't have to do it, it's just a suggestion to help.
That person you worried, reach out to them in a way that you can. If writing is easier, then write. Don't shut people out completely if you can help it. Although it's really easy to be alone. I understand more than you know.
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Keep trying. Keep demanding. You'll get HRT. Lots of people have found their moods and emotion stabilise once on the necessary hormones.
I'm currently fighting through medical people, depression and anxiety to get HRT too. Don't give up.
If you ever need or want to talk contact me. We can get through this.
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Be careful with psychiatrists, pills etc. You are not the only one on SG going through a rough time. On the Internet in general, everyone is just acting more upbeat then they really are, but what's wrong with that? The brain is a weird blobby thing, that is easily fooled, and can be shaped and changed in many many ways.
Why wasn't astronaut Chris Hadfield scared to death when he went blind on a spacewalk? By training, shaping, manipulating the brain to not be such a p*ssy :) true story.
How is it that a Professor of Law, Psychology, and Psychiatry can continue her work at a university even-though she is schizophrenic? The brain isn't that simple, no one is always mentally sane or insane. One moment you can be perfectly sane, the next you know, the brain might fail in one way or the other.
Heck, even your diet changes who you are, how you feel, and who you will become.
Talking to people can turn your life around, in a meaningful way.
and, how you once were, you won't be forever. Even if you are at an all time low in your life.
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Sounds like you might be having what is called a paradoxical drug reaction. You should probably call your irresponsible shrink ASAP and tell him that this is an emergency and you need to see him or a colleague immediately. When you see him you need to convince him to take you off of all drugs order to get a baseline. Don't do this yourself because some drugs must be weaned off of. Take a friend or relative along who is on your side to help convince him. Believe me, a third person in the room really helps to get them to listen.
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I refused to take anti-depressant for a long-time given their reputation, and I too, met with with fucking crook "psychiatrist" who didn't give a shit. Until I met an actual therapist who explained to me exactly why I had to take some, softer for less adverse secondary effects, anti-depressant: when deprived of a natural amount of social or exterior contact, as well as when your health, activity or food/drug regime is not optimum and you accumulate stress, anxiety or tension, some sort of valve in your brain close. And then people wonder why we are the most depressed civilisation ever with shits like internet and smartphones.
Those valves are responsible for releasing natural hormones that make you motivated, satisfied, open etc...except that when you fall into depression, they close. Anti-depressant, the right ones, and preferably the softer ones, are aimed at opening these valves again after a month or more of treatment. As a human machine being, you need that to even have prospects, be motivated for whatever and enjoy what's enjoyable.
Also, don't confuse your own vision of yourself or the world, with other's people vision of the world or yourself, not to be confused with actual reality. Also you're young, you're a girl, so you live in a particularly fucked-up generation that is being over-advertised relationships or sex, but trust me, none of that shit does exists or matters, even including amongst your friends who pretend the contrary (they're young, they talk, but they probably don't know or get shit from relationships), you have time...
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JV,
If screaming at/insulting people would help reduce your stress and make you feel better, there's a group called Heretical giveaway (or heretic) you can insults us all to your hearts content.
I don't know if we should see this as a call for help and reach out or just give you space. I'm sorry you don't feel anyone here cared enought to check up on you and see how you were doing.
I wish you the best, whatever that's worth to you.
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Good shout! I also recommend... Ah what is that reddit sub where people ask to be insulted? Like they post a selfie and people make fun of it?
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I don't want Jennifer to get rejected like I did. I said people didn't care about me and they accepted it, many said to go call someone on a random hotline for someone else to deal with it, a lot blacklisted me because I was immature to think that and people told me to get thicker skin. So, this is my way of being that one person of the many clearly saying we are here and we accept that she is feeling down and her mind is making her think that people aren't there for her when they clearly are.
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I don't even use Reddit... probably should now xD
Wondered why I had two gold stars lmao
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Yeah I looked as well. I'm thinking it has to do with me posting it on SG. People give here and it's the norm... so... idk...
Lmao I wish I could give it to someone who would make use of it :/
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Yeah cause getting insulted is exactly the attention I need... Honestly people are stupid! Its adorable they made an account just for me, now thats the sort of attention that makes me feel like I'm worth going out their way for :3
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I did it 4 da gold dood ;3
Nah I know, I actually really enjoyed it! I loved the Saw one though, made me lol when I realised xD
Oh I didn't even notice it was you! But nah I didn't take it seriously! Yours was funny xD
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JenniferV:
Hey there! Sorry you're feeling so bad presently. I want to let you know I and many on the Small Celebrations thread greatly appreciate you and want to see you feeling better. Don't hesitate to look us up on Steam chat or drop by the thread.
You are a great support with your contributions regularly on the thread... you can see from the poll that we are all suffering and need each other!
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I've had a really shit day - from humiliating job interviews to a wasp nest in the roof. I have all kinds of worries but I'd feel like a dick complaining about them because I just found out my friends seven year old daughter has a brain tumor that is probably going to make her blind and then dead.
You can get caught up in your own shit so that it can seem overwhelming - but almost everyone has their own problems and feeling alone with them is surprisingly common. Going through that and moving past it is part of most peoples lives. Nobody is entitled to attention and seeking attention might get some sympathy but will rarely achieve much in the long run.
Try and take a step back and get some perspective. Look for neutral places to get help and advice - because often the advice you need to improve your situation isn't going to be the advice you want to hear or that people who are trying to be nice will give. And that has to be the focus - finding positive ways to improve your situation rather than lashing out or whatever else because that is the only way you are going to get to the better place you need to be in.
And although I wish you the best - try and appreciate that many people might be coming here to get away from their own unhappy shit and consider how they might feel about being told to get fucked by people wishing that all their hope is crushed.
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The long view is obviously that I wouldn't have been happy working for such twats anyway. But I still find such matters demoralising for at least a day. And if, amongst other disasters, one also finds ones home infested by malevolent insects within that recovery period then a foul mood can start to settle in. And then you can end up glad you never moaned about it when somebody comes up with a real problem...
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good day to you too, young miss.
i'm always going to bed at this point. no use in escalating all over the interwebz.
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You care too much and should better start to think more about yourself instead of getting sucked up in all the everyday BS, the doc (even if it's only one for journalism, but meh... nobody's perfect, eh :<) posted some great advice... there's no need to dig yourself deeper into that abyss, I hope you gather the strength to finally fight against it and overcome all that hate holding you back. It's your life and your choices and yours alone, nobody should have a say how you wanna see the world. And you certainly don't have to follow other people's standards, create some for your own... best of luck, I mean it. There's always good people out there and nobody's perfect, so why do you hold yourself to such unrealistic high standards?
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I fucked up and ruined everything again and don't even care anymore because fuck you all. I mean, y'all in particular aren't really the worst, you've been the most caring, it seems the least someone knows you the more they care, maybe it's just virtue signalling, or maybe my personality makes people not care when they know me more. You guys cared when I attempted suicide, wanted me here, but that's only 'cause I stupidly said something while I tried. Noone else even notices when I'm gone though, hell the only time y'all did was when thr magnificent one told you. But even if you aren't the worst, you're still people and really the only ones I can talk to right now. So fuck you all you cunts. I hate being alone but it's so much better than dealing with your awful bullshit and fake caring just to lead me one to feeling cared about enough to live on when you won't even fucking talk to me. I hope you become unhappy and alone just so you know what it's like. And I hope hell doesn't exist because I don't want to have to spend time with you in the afterlife.
Fuck you all. I wish all the shitty pain of the world upon you, and then a slimmer of hope to get you out of your awful mindset just for it to get crushed infront of you.
I'm done feeling sorry that I can't enjoy your happiness, you don't deserve it so fuck you. I hope no one helps you ever again.
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