What is love?

Quantum fluctuations in the Higg's field.

hmm.
went to first date.
Drinking wine on hill with panorama of the city
first 1.5hours was average.
I didn't liked her physically on first sight (she is super slim. no boobs/no ass).
next hour I started to see similarities between us.
after wine I escorted her to her house.
don't remember did I suggested a cup of tea, or she did (but it was about 10:30-11:00 PM.
can't recall when it was started. but she was sitting in her bed. I was sitting on edge of the bed.
and I just looked how her eyes keeps closing, because she was super tired.
at that point I didn't wanted sex (even it was some time then I had it)
I just thought. if shell fall asleep I just lay down near her legs. Guess I didn't wanted to go very intimate (not talking about sex).
Hug person and go sleep can be pretty intimate for first date, so maybe I just didn't wanted to scare her off.
she said that I need to go home.
I hugged her, we kissed for few seconds.

next date. I realized even more how many things we have in common and in how many things we agree. (from abortion topic to dogs..)

sadly after that it went downhill.
she never found time for me. or changed plans 1 hour before date..

we had third date. but it felt like "I will go with you one more time, and then fuck off"

I'm 30 years old. and was single almost all my life.
and at this point I guess I even stopped searching for it.
My biggest dream these days is to fall asleep while holding someone in my arms... but...

anyway
there is strong scene in tv series How I met your mother
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYnhPtsRQjA

Something beautiful I once heard is that (in English, but not necessarily every other language), "love" is not just a noun, but a verb, meaning that it is not simply something you have, or a state of a relationship, but rather something you actually do, meaning you put the effort in. That really resonated with me, and I've yet to find something similar enough in my own language haha.

Although any such phrases will probably sound washed out to anyone who is currently hurting and/or desperate. I'm pretty sure love in itself is pretty unique to everyone, and there are many kinds of it in your every day life. Just like people, no two loves are the same. I don't think there's the ultimate advice or strategy from or for anyone, but I hope that the words you need(ed) to hear are somewhere in this thread no less. And cliche as it is by now, I do think it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

Love found me at a time when I considered myself incapable for it. Granted it has also left me at a time I least expected, but I don't regret it. For all the vulnerability I've gained from it, I've also won a lot because I've become more open. And call me a masochist but I can't help wanting to have faith in both people and the future, even on days where everything seems bland or even hellish. (This paragraph may or may not have been my +1 to the Haddaway response train.)

I do hope you find what you're missing, or that it finds you.

umm idk what to say i just liked the song it's one of my fav xD

What is love?

Emotion? Idea we can't see?
A chemical drug?
What is the recipe? (Was it lost long ago and will never be found? That would be sad)

Experiences differ, many descriptions.
If your heart was broken –
There is no prescription.

But if your feelings are echoed
And the heartbeats are synced (This is stupid. How can hearts beat at the same frequency? People (and their hearts) are of different size and they move differently etc. Although this article says otherwise (somewhat) https://www.futurity.org/heart-beats-sync-up-in-romantic-couples/)
Eternity together seems like a second.

I think I had love once. One day I woke up and realized I didn't know where I put it. I looked everywhere – checked every drawer, every pocket, every corner. No sign. I'm always so tired, often don't pay attention and I'm careless. It's possible I lost it on the last bus and didn't notice. That would be sad. I should have payed more attention...

the times you want to text 20 times a day. that's only the falling in love part.

loving somebody is more deeply. not only all the positive things. When you know all their bad sides, and have had fights, and despite these negative emotions, live for the other. care for her/him. you know what makes her tick. And know the other does that too. when you feel safe with/him her, you can cry, feel loved.
you don't need to text 20 times a day, because with a few words you can achieve exactly the same because of this.

yes, my heart still skips a beat when I see my wife. don't worry to much about old bones, because bones don't matter when the heart take over

you're Dutch, so listen to this song
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3geUS0rGDLU

Bump

One of my favourite movie quotes (and one of the movies I dislike the most, strange coincidence):

"Why do I fall in love with every woman I see that shows me the least bit of attention?"

• Joel Barish (Jim Carrey, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)

When I was around my twenty, love felt like something nothing could break, it was intense in its own kind of way. Then you discover that love is a feeling that has to be nurtured, that the one you fell for head flaws and qualities, that love isn't enough on itself to make a good couple and that most of your firsts relationships are with the exact same sort of people which often have to do with the way you felt powerless in pasts situations, often related to your parents couple, and it's like you're trying to do better than they did.
Then comes the moment you realize all that. The way you live this revelation is up to you and what you want to do with it. You'll still feel butterflies but not always act on it, you'll learn that love, as much as a couple is something you have to work for for it to work. You'll learn that living with someone is about accepting their flaws and deal with it rather than loving their qualities. You learn that what is important isn't the roses they will bring you once in a while, but rather the way you have support on every day tasks.
I like to say that I knew my partner was the one the day he brought me back a toothbrush after I sent him doing the groceries. I had complained about mine but forgot to ask him to buy one for me. The fact he cared about this detail was speaking volume about how attentive he was.
When you're young, you mostly want to fix your past experiences and see the positive. As you get older, you want to find someone right for you and your know that for it to last, it won't be easy. Years after years, you see that it works because you both work hard for it, because you care of your happiness and their happiness too and you build your life on sturdier foundation than feelings only. It only needs a toothbrush sometimes and here you are, over 10 years later, smiling at the memory.

No moreeeeeeee
AH AH AH AHHHH

i not enter the gw but thank you and For me is mean when someone is able to make another happy by take care and help him/she without ask or wait anything given back or also by accept the other complain or bad to you,this can be see easy with childrens or olds people most of time when family take care/help them they will not understand and complain too but because of love family will continue to help and take care them,the same is about gf and bf too , if someone love really is not matter money/sick etc whatever happen continue to stay togheder bt take care and be happy, if not is mean is not just love but other things selph.
One thing is sure,if someone really love you will make you feel good,smile and happy,if not is mean dont love for my point of view.
in my life also if i had 0 money i had many gfs and i must say i always has been very lucky because all them make me happy,and also whit ex that we stop our relationship always finish with good things and be friends until now.
is very easy to feel love for wrong people,sometime bad people too... ,and when this happen then brai start to think that all boy is bad or all girl is bad etc,but is important to never lose hope in find the right girl/boy for us because for sure one day you will meet him/she,there is millions of people meet wrong bf/gf that cheat them or do bad to them in many ways... but these people also then can meet the right love gf/bf that make them happy and take care , but must try... because if when 1 love finish only you cry or depressed then you will never find it,must try new girl/boys that you think is good for you until you find the right one,because by only stay complain about the bad past for sure will not help find the right one.

Good luck with everything and try to be positive. I know it isn't easy and can be a struggle every day. But I think staying positive will help.

bump

Short poem by Gustavo Adolfo Becquer, a poet who lived in poverty. He has a cheesy reputation but this poem... is still true:

Today the earth and the heavens smile at me,
today the sun reaches the bottom of my soul,
today I have seen her..., I have seen her and she has looked at me...,
I believe in God today!

Hoy la tierra y los cielos me sonríen,
hoy llega al fondo de mi alma el sol,
hoy la he visto..., la he visto y me ha mirado...,
¡hoy creo en Dios!

Is there a another phrase that triggers an intimidate response in your head such as this?

The easy way out is to just be an antisocial person who doesn't like interacting with people IRL, thinks that intercourse is disgusting, has a low opinion of himself and is paranoid to the point that he thinks that if he gives anyone even a little leeway (aka, "love") they will use the shit out of him for personal gains. Works for me! :D
(Warning: Will almost definitely result in massive depression.)

From the time when there was MUSIC.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViP87WipSm0

And of course:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Omi-S2Q-F34

Tbh, it ain't all that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuuObGsB0No&list=RDzuuObGsB0No&start_radio=1#t=52

Everything what I write isn’t perfect, but comes from observing yourself and more open people, it may gives you some point of attachment. PS: this may be a bit cynical approach especially if you bring "love" to the economic exchange of intangible feelings
There is a good chance that a feeling called love will hit you like a rushing train at the worst moment. And it may require maturity when you are not 20 years old (this is the best scenario).
First, don't wait. It just doesn't work (at least in Europe, I can't vouch for the rest of the world). If you feel you aren’t brave enough then try increasing it artificially (a mix of well-chosen clothes, perfumes and / or cocaine. The coke may help if you are an introvert and just talking to someone outside your circle is hell).
The beginning of the relationship will be difficult, especially if you do not have the ability to talk about anything for hours and keep the conversation going. (in theory you can learn it, but it’s hard).
Later, most of the time, the whole relationship will look like playing a coop game. Both sides want to win the best loot, but mutual courtesy and concession allow both people to enjoy the game.
Things that can be helpful: showing interest, listening to everyday problems, and complaining about them together without real problem solving. Small gestures in the style of an unexpected phone call, a gift (for example flowers). Gradual introduction to a group of friends (start with the most normal ones, leave those from /b at the very end).
Most often, the relationship or "love" resembles two people behaving like two drunk children in the fog, who hope that everything will be all right.
PS: If you are a security / control freak and it would be best for you to lock a second person in a golden cage, don't do it. You will be afraid for another person and you will probably have to deal with it. (Buy her a taser or pepper spray if you're more of a security freak. Better than going crazy with anxiety every time she goes somewhere at night.)

An extremely cynical approach to the issue of "love", or how to theoretically have and eat a cake. (I haven’t tested it, but based on another experiment of a different set of my feelings I assume it is possible)
In theory and the assumption that "love" and benefits from "bond" comes down to brain biochemistry, I think that by feeding the brain with stimulants and forcing the production of various types of hormones, a state similar to classic butterflies in the stomach could be achieved. What you need to start with is a "bond". If you can't get it towards people, try to deal with animals. In short, buy yourself a dog (or other intelligent animal) and make a strong bond with him. Theoretically, this should satisfy the need for attachment and caring for someone. All the rest is regulating yourself with natural or artificial hormone doses. From what I know, the main hormones needed are: serotonin, endorphin, oxytocin, vasopressin and phenylethylamine. This may be enough or a good experiment.
I hope that something of what I wrote will be useful for you :)

I think its better to try a thing and maybe regret later for a few weeks or even months than ignore it and regret all the rest life
my English is better than Googtrans I hope

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rzgrP7VA_Q

Baby don't hurt me no more

Translation: I don't have all the answers but a sense of humour seems like it can't hurt. Often I wonder if relationships fail because participants make the relationship the 'goal' when it might be better described as the 'result' of other things coming together. But even after 30 years and 3 adult children, I'm still quick to admit that I don't know much about these things.