You find a genie in a bottle, but he's a special genie, he only deals in language wishes. So he will grant you instant fluency in any language of your choice, along with accent of your choice if applicable. You will be able to speak it, read it, write it, as if you were a native speaker.

It has to be a real language on Earth, no fake ones. No Klingon or Dwarvish or anything like that.

And before you complain that such-and-such language isn't in the poll keep in mind that I can only have 20 options. I googled to find the languages with the most number of speakers. But I also grouped some together, such as languages of India. I included an option for "Other" if the one you want isn't one of the poll options, but make sure you read over every option first because there are some "others" that are specific to a region of the world. Feel free to list it in the comments if you want.

No potato option. No giveaway. This is just to see what other people would choose because I'm curious.

9 years ago

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If you could get instant fluency in any language which one would you pick?

View Results
English (any accent)
German
Spanish
Portuguese
Italian
French
Chinese (any)
Japanese
Korean
Other Asian (Thai, Vietnamese, etc)
Hindu or other langauge spoken in India and surrounding area
Russian
Polish
Dutch
Greek
Other European language
Arabic or other Middle Eastern langauge
Any African Language (swahili, etc)
Any language spoken in Malaysian, Indonesia, or the Philippines
Other (not in any area of the world already mentioned)

Japanese, so many games, manga, and books I could then enjoy!

9 years ago
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+6

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+999

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+9001

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+90001

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+900001

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+100k +1

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+21474836469

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+∞

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That escalated quickly.

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+∞∞∞∞∞∞

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+42

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+1

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+32767

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does said 'learning gift' also come with dialects?

cus japanese grilsss

9 years ago*
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+1337

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+9001

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+∞

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+

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+∞

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+∞²

9 years ago
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japan has some fucked up shit. chances are if its not dubbed or subbed, its pure trash

9 years ago
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I disagree

9 years ago
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try being a woman in japan

9 years ago
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The hell does that have to do with the current conversation?

9 years ago
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ignorance is bliss, do you want to open this jar?

9 years ago
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spanish, because its very similar to other european languages. and i already know a little english.

9 years ago
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russian

9 years ago
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+1

9 years ago
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Yep. Or da. Or да. Whatever.

9 years ago
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Japanese for the "plots" in animes.

9 years ago
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Yes, "plots" are very important!

9 years ago
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9 years ago
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French. I'm going to France in a few weeks and it would be real useful.

9 years ago
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bonjour

9 years ago
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Bonjour, je m'appelle paradispoisixes. Ou sont mes wi-fi - pour l'amour des dieux me manque le Steam Summer Sale.

9 years ago
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Si amor

9 years ago
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j´esperais un comment d´Omelete du fromage . :P

9 years ago
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Ne voulez-vous donc pas dire; "paradispoilsixes"?
Ou bien je dis n'importe quoi...

Please don't kill me, I know my French is rusty...

9 years ago
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Mine is just terrible - but I think you are right!

9 years ago
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French is a beautifull langage (and I'm not telling this cause I'm french of course ;) )
But if you know english, and a little french words, everything is good
Bonjour (hello )
Au revoir (bye )
Merci (Thanks )
S'il vous plait (please )
With this 4 words, people smiles and they helped you more to know what you want than if you only speaks english ;)

Good trip ;)

Where do you go?

9 years ago
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People smile and they help you more? I guess France has changed a lot since I went there....

9 years ago
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Shots fired

9 years ago
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Actually, I was being quite Pollyannaish about my experiences in France. They did have Swiss chocolate for sale in the shops, after all. Keep in mind, this was around 1975, and a lot has changed since then.

9 years ago
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You've been around since 75'?

That's heresy right there. Have you no shame?

9 years ago
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No, no, no... You have it all wrong. I've been traveling and seeing the world since 1975. I was around before that. P

Of course, you tend to slow down as you get older....

9 years ago
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woah... thats amazing. Im not even being sarcastic. here, have my respect :D

9 years ago
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He must be talking about some other France ;)

9 years ago
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No non France today ;)

1975 is a long time (I wasn't even born ^^' )

But I think we change in a good ways, try this words and tell me, I know a lot of people who are polite and helpfull, of course if you go on big cities like Paris or Marseille, or Bordeaux it's not like here in little town ;)

9 years ago
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It depends on where you go of course!

In my region most of people helped english people always ;)

9 years ago
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I wish I had gone to your region, instead. (

Oh, well... That's life for you. )

9 years ago
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Sorry ;)

But going in little town is the key to have less difficulties, I think ;)

I hate big cities (Paris is a nightmare for me ^^' )

Have a good day ;)

9 years ago
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Omelette du fromage

9 years ago
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I voted "Other European language" because I would love to be able to speak fluent Classical Latin. That would tremendously help my understanding and learning of many Romance languages, including English[1], Spanish, and French; and it would improve my ability to understand technical medical, philosophical, and scientific terminology in English academic literature. I would have voted "Greek" because Ancient Greek is another choice of mine, but I suspect that means Modern Greek.

So many people voting for Japanese... Japanese is a nice language, but it's terribly limited and simplistic. Moreover, there isn't any notable scientific, philosophical, or academic literature in Japanese from what I know. That which is typically uses a more ancient iteration of it. Then again, they probably just want to watch their anime and Japanese popular media. Weebs never fail to disappoint.


[1] – In order to avoid confusion or misinformation from my unintended implication, I should clarify that English is a Germanic, not a Romance, language. Both share common proto-Indo-European (PIE) roots, but otherwise evolved along very different lines.

9 years ago*
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+1, Latin is also the language I would pick. I could have learned it in middle and high school, but took French and Spanish instead. While I certainly don't regret those decisions, I would love to read so many texts in the original Latin.

9 years ago
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I DID learn Latin (among other languages) enough to read with it. A large part of it has since been lost due to lack of use. For this reason it wouldn't be my first choice, as languages are "use it or lose it" and learning a more functional language will allow you to not only retain the knowledge but build on it. The most functional language depends on your particular situation of course.
Edit: And glancing at the OP, I see it's magical so retention might not be an issue. Oh well ><
Edit Edit: For my personal situation, since an option is learning all the languages of India I'd take that as it would be useful working at a major tech company. It would also save me the most effort since without magic it would be more difficult for me to learn than languages with Latin roots.

9 years ago*
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I had the opportunity in high school, but personal issues intervened and caused me to withdraw during that time. Never got to learn Latin, though I do plan on doing so during my studies. Latin is indispensable when reading philosophical or historical texts, both of which are major interests of mine.

I am currently learning Spanish via Duolingo, though. I highly recommend it for learning many languages, including obscure ones like Esperanto.

9 years ago
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I have Duolingo in my taskbar and alas have not clicked on it in ages.

9 years ago
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Neither have I. it's also on my smartphone, which is my main source of learning (it's the only clear microphone I have). There are some criticisms that Duolingo doesn't really teach you the language as adequately as, say, a textbook or guidebook. I recommend using other resources to accompany your language learning, since Duolingo can only do so much alone.

9 years ago
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picka ti materina mamu ti jebem coravu u levo govnjavo oko tebra

here is an example of why you shoud learn serbian

9 years ago
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But isn't that Croatian? :^)

9 years ago
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m8 in serbia we have cyrilic and latinic

Latinic example: Idi u kurac picko
Cyrilic example: Иди у курац пичко

There are small differences between Croatian and Serbian.

9 years ago
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What's the difference? Honest question.

9 years ago
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acent, some words are different example we say Avion they say Zarkoplov (plane) also grammar is different but we can understand each other with no problem same goes for Slovenians, Montenegroians and Bosnians but a little harder for Macedonians and Slovenians

9 years ago
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It sounds like Serbian has more Romantic influence. Avion is almost certainly directly from the Latin term for "bird", avis.

9 years ago
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Croatians tend to make their words instead of using others example of Airplane in Croatian "Zrakoplov" is made up from 2 words Zrak ( in serbian zrak means Ray or Beam example "Death Ray" is Zrak Smrti, but in croatian zrak means Air, plov is word that came from world Ploviti which means sailing) so they kinda just mixed the words together and instead using word from other language they use that

9 years ago
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pahahhahahahahhaahha... pa sto ispljuva coveka krvavo :D

9 years ago
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sve je ok dok ne zna

9 years ago
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pitam se da li google translate moze da ga obasja znanjem :D

9 years ago
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tebe ocigledno nije

9 years ago
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hmmm... kako to da protumacim? :D

9 years ago
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nije bas uvredjivo, kaze da si lep ko silka, dalje verovatno mozes sam

9 years ago
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hmmm.... izgleda da ne mogu sam, precenio si me :D

9 years ago
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Lep si ko slika. Samo treba da te jos obese.

9 years ago
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:* <3

9 years ago
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Du bist schön wie ein Gemälde. Sie shoud hängen Sie.

9 years ago
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loool wtf xD

9 years ago
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Blacklisted for using long words. Why are you using so many long words.

9 years ago
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Oh boy, I took you seriously for a moment. You almost triggered my indignation.

I use "big words" because that's honestly a part of my normal vocabulary. I know a lot of big words and I like to express myself using them. It can be more exacting, more clear, and more intelligible so long as you understand the word or term being used—if not, dictionaries, encyclopedias, and thesauruses will help in that respect. It also helps expose people to new words which they themselves could use. The English language is extremely vast, so why not explore it?

If I truly wished to profess and pronounce my verbose grandiloquence through sesquipedalian ornamentation and prolix ostentation, to exercise and execute my rhetorical repertoire through bafflegab and bombastic buffoonery, I can assuredly assure you that I, myself, could achieve and acquire this apex of arrogant asininity and prolific pomposity with minimal consultation of any dictionary for my diction.

But it's such a hassle, so I stick to my normal vocabulary. It's easier that way, for both of us.

9 years ago*
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that sentence had to many Syllables.... APOLOGIZE!!! looolz
EDIT: too?

9 years ago
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there isn't any notable scientific, philosophical, or academic literature in Japanese from what I know

lol... You have to be joking... :S

9 years ago
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If I'm incorrect, please do prove me wrong. You'll give me a newfound appreciation and interest of Japanese as a language. I am aware of Japanese philosophy and literature, including modern literature, but none which are very notable or outstanding as eminent in their respective field.

9 years ago
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Maybe not for an occidental... Among other things because the barrier language. It sounds like you were reviling Japanese people, although I know that is not your intention.

9 years ago
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I'm not. I do hold some disdain for wapanese weeaboos trying too hard to be some otaku ideal, but I otherwise find Japanese culture to be intriguing and hold no contempt toward them. I would just prefer to learn a language which better fits my interests, such as Classical Latin or Ancient Greek, than Japanese, especially when English is already relatively common in Japan and among the cultural capital it produces. Japanese is a beautiful (and adorable) language, but it doesn't suit my purposes. I would love to learn it, but I have other languages of greater interest and utility to me at this time.

9 years ago
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From what I have heard, English is not so common in Japan, and the few who talk English... well, their pronunciation is really scary.
I must confess I like Japanese things, but I'm not fooled by them. I would prefer to learn Finnish for working purposes.. I think Nordic countries are a step further of the rest of Europe (maybe even of the world).

9 years ago
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Perhaps so, but perhaps not for long. Their unbridled open immigration and sanctimonious extreme Left is causing a lot of discontent. But that's more political discussion than anything.

Perhaps English is uncommon in Japan, but a lot of Japanese products have accompanying English, typically in the form of words and phrases. I've met some Japanese who know English, but their pronunciation and grammar is definitely off, especially those who are just learning the language. Japanese is so syntactically different from English that their sentence structure is disparate from ours. When directly translated from one language to the other, it often resembles intelligible gibberish.

9 years ago
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+1

9 years ago
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9 years ago
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on the bright side... you can go live in Città del Vaticano lol
but srsly, Latin is badass... unlike some languages which stem from it (I'm looking at you Italian x( )

9 years ago
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9 years ago
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khahahahahahha loled at the "damn u cicero" xD

9 years ago
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I totally agree! 6 years of studying Latin and I think I forgot almost everything already. Probably on purpose, because I hate it that much now.
I should have chosen French... (those were my 2 choices back then)

9 years ago
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English is not a Romance language, it's Germanic. The only common thing between Germanic and Romance languages is that both are Indo-european.

9 years ago
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I'm fully aware of this. I apologize for implying that it was not. With roughly 30% (~60% if you count Old French, since it is originally rooted in Latin) of the English language rooted in Latin either directly or indirectly, however, it contains enough Latin that learning the language would be beneficial, especially considering the majority of those words are technical terms used in academic settings.

9 years ago
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I'm fluent in Brazilian Portuguese as a second language. It's is a good Romantic language to learn because it gives a broad base to understand the other spoken Romantic languages.

I can understand Spanish and Italian speakers, and can read Spanish without problems. I understand that's typical of Portuguese speakers. There are cognates that can present issues from time to time, but most of the time I can understand just fine.

I lived in a several towns in Brazil, and it seemed like every town had its own accent, so to me Spanish sounds like just another accent of Portuguese. To Spanish speakers, Portuguese speakers sound almost like they're speaking Spanish with marbles in their mouth.

I can also understand some slowly spoken French (due to many root words being the same). I find reading French to be impossible, and reading Italian to be difficult.

My understanding is that Portuguese is also the closest to pure Latin, although it's far enough that Latin still causes me issues if I come across it in written form.

So, my long-winded point is that rather than picking a "dead" language, pick one that people actually speak and you'll still have the advantages that you would have had by picking Latin.

9 years ago
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I want to learn Latin so I can read Latin texts and understand the roots of Romance languages and their terms, so Portuguese wouldn't really work for me for at least one of those objectives. I already know a bit of Spanish and may continue learning it, since it seems to be the closest living language to Latin I'm aware of. Why do you say Portuguese is closer to Latin than Spanish? If so, then maybe I'll look into it, as well.

9 years ago
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I used to have an interest in learning Latin myself, and I'd been told that Portuguese was closer. It was long enough ago that the internet was not really a good source for fact checking. It was around, but it was before search engines. You had to use your programs called crawlers on your own machine to find things. It took hours, and most often you still didn't find what you were looking for.

I wish you the best of luck in learning Latin. I personally found that "going deep" and living in the language made it easier to pick up. I studied Spanish in high school for a couple of years and couldn't do much with it aside from a few dirty phrases. I lived in Brazil for a few months and became fluent in that time, and after about 6 months I could fool people into thinking I was native.

Learning Latin that way isn't really an option that I'm aware of, unless you join the clergy or something. :)

9 years ago
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Parabéns por ter aprendido português!!!!

9 years ago
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May I ask what were you doing in Brasil?

9 years ago
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I was there for a couple of years as a missionary. I lived in the Nordeste region, living a few months in several different cities between Recife and Natal and some of the interior of PE. It was over 20 years ago, and I was there during the currency switch from the cruzeiro to the Real.

I loved living there, and would move there with my family if I could work it out with my job and get paid the way I do now while living down there. :) I'd want to live near a tech hub, though, so I could still get some good internets :)

9 years ago
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Woah woah woah wait a moment, do you really think that Japanese is a limited and simplistc language? What makes you think so?

9 years ago
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Why should I believe it is not?

9 years ago
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Come on. That's not how you discuss. I cannot present the complicity of the given language not knowing what you consider a requirement for a language to be complex. Yet I will try.
For instance Japanese language has several layers use of wich depends on social contex; it derives from the rich politness culture of the country. Japanese has a vivid spectre of synonymous, While having only two tenses may make one think that it is a simple language, the variety of aspects shows otherwise. Still need more?

9 years ago
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I wouldn't consider honorifics and culturally-enforced required statements to be enriching to a language. If anything, that just oppresses and confines the language into a pattern which endorses and perpetuates class division. Honorifics are ultimately pointless, especially when overused like in Japanese, when respect and honor could be conveyed through one's actions rather than whatever appends or prefixes their name. Eventually, honorifics become hollow gestures, noise with no real meaning. Why should they be considered valuable at all outside of only the most formal contexts (and usually only because of pointless tradition then)?

I believe range, subtlety, and flexibility of expression is what defines a complex language, among other factors. English, for example, has the largest vocabulary on Earth (excusing cop-outs like infinity of wordbuilding due to numeral modifications like in Finnish) with roots and influences comprising hundreds of various languages, including obscure and dead ones. I believe a language like English offers a far greater scope which its speakers can employ to convey whatever they please in as specific and clear, or as vague and esoteric, as they like.

Aside from obvious instances of being "lost in translation" (ancient or cultural terms which connote a very unique meaning or set of meanings, or utility), is there a single word in the Japanese language which is untranslatable in English? And if there is, what's stopping it from simply becoming an English word, just like schadenfreude has (or, to give a Japanese example, "kawaii")?

9 years ago*
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My knowledge about Japanese is not great enough to provide you with a word that's untranslatable. But there are gramatical construction which, when presented in english, look the same, but in Japanese they have additional meanings. For instance you, in Japanese adjectives wich end with i you can replace i with sa or mi and they would change the adjective into a noun (eg tsuyoi wich means strong becomes strenght when you change it into tsuyosa or tsuyomi) but when you use the sa version you would mean only the 'volume' of strength and with mi it becomes more metaphorical or emotional.

And well, you cannot just go and state that English has the richest vocabulary worldwide without providing us with a source. I could claim thath Japanese has the reachest vocabulary in the world as their words comes from Chinese, Korean and well English and Portugese, while English uses only Latin, German and French

9 years ago
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I'd like to learn Russian and French. :)

9 years ago
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C++

9 years ago
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No need for a genie.
http://www.tutorialspoint.com/cplusplus/

Though I would recommend Java instead.

9 years ago
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Thanks for the link <3 ~

9 years ago
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1++

9 years ago
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assembly

9 years ago
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indeed... those patterns are killing me :(

9 years ago
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where's Sindarin, Khuzdul, Klingon, Quenya ?

and Latin...
and Esperanto...

9 years ago*
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Not to mention Khuzdul:)

9 years ago
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done!

9 years ago
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Japanese I guess.

9 years ago
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Other European - Estonian. My dad was born there and I never learned it when growing up. I can picture the look on his face if I started speaking it to him out of nowhere, I reckon he'd be delighted.

Was tempted to go with Spanish as that's a language that is spoken in quite a lot of countries I'd like to visit one day. Estonian is harder though, so I'll take that as my free language and learn Spanish myself in this theoretical discussion.

9 years ago
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Good reason for that choice:)

9 years ago
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You have no idea how happy it makes me to see someone want to learn Estonian.
It fills my little heart with national pride. c:

9 years ago
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I almost never see anyone on the internet even knowing about my country, much less wanting to know it's language.I have met about a thousand people, who thought that Estonians speak Russian or something and even people who think We're still a part of Russia.I am delighted to see someone actually wanting to know our language.

9 years ago
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I know there are russian speaking people in Estonia, but they're a minority... correct?
And isn't your language relative close to finnish, or at least closer than to any slawic language?

9 years ago
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You are right on both fronts.

9 years ago
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9 years ago
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I would choose Portuguese/Spanish as it's used by the most people on the world (after Mandarin) and because i never had to deal with it - i'm totally green. I wouldn't pick Japanese as i actually know quite a bit of it (note for haters/flamers - no, not by only watching anime) and i would fully learn it in not such a long time.

9 years ago
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Japanese, definitely.

9 years ago
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probably chinese because at least 2 billion people speak that language in the world
as a second maybe german,i always wanted to learn that

9 years ago
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Yea and they almost all live here in China. So if you don't too, it's hardly useful.

9 years ago
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until they decide and conquer the rest of the world, which is going to happen sooner or later. i mean militarily, because economic conquest is already happening. that's why i voted Chinese ;P

9 years ago
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For some reason Westerners get seriously alarmist over foreign nations. Most of this place is still "3rd world" except for the Eastern seaboard.

9 years ago
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While you're certainly right, I base my assumption on the observation of my neighborhood, where most bars, restaurants and shops are now owned by Chinese, and the process seems never-ending.

9 years ago
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I was thinking about learning a new language. I'm kinda in between Mandarin Chinese and Sign Language.
My answer here is Mandarin Chinese, 'cause I think it would take more time.
IRL I think I'll start with Sign Language. :)
If I could pick 3, the thrid would be Japanese. Also Finnish would be interesting.

9 years ago
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Keep in mind that sign language is different for every country.

9 years ago
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I'm aware of that. I'd start from the one of my own country, then maybe expand later on, when the first one is settled in my mind.

9 years ago
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hindu is religion. hindi is language.

9 years ago
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my bad. sorry.

9 years ago
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You don't have this option but i think knowing sign language would be great. I've come across a handful of people in my adult life (college, at weddings, some social gatherings, etc) and it would be nice to be able to converse. I imagine their circle of people they can communicate with is small in comparison to the rest of us and if a friendship ended up forming, it would be beneficial to both of us.

Not only that but my neice who is still in preschool uses sign language as her main form of communication as shes just learning to speak. She "says" things like thanks, help, diaper, please. Its pretty cool how they learn at such a young age.

9 years ago*
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Chinese, because with Chinas ever expanding economy i think it'd open up alot of job opportunities.

9 years ago
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It doesn't actually work out that way. Chinese only deal with other Chinese, and they speak English already to have staff deal with foreigners.

9 years ago
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This is fair point, but there's more to it. I work in, let's say, a field that attracts a lot of Chinese lately (I personally don't work with Chinese market, but I know a lot people who do). Right now it's not even about what's going on within China anymore, it's about Chinese investments surging out of the country. And now we see that Chinese buyers/investors (especially wealthier ones) are more than willing to work with non-Chinese salesmen, even more so than with Chinese ones. This actually surprised me, as I was sure that "Chinese only deal with other Chinese". And even if you hire Chinese staff to deal with Chinese clients, it's still useful to know the language for supervision/negotiations/adjusting the (billingual) contracts on the fly.

tl;dr: You go, MisterWuh

9 years ago
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Mandarin or "Chinese"

9 years ago
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Japanese. I love this country. And with that knowledge I'd earn a lot of money as a translator.

9 years ago
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Prices for translations have actually plummeted over the past years, so a lot of money really isn't there in that business unless you're exceptionally lucky or have an extremely good business model. Interpreting does give some good money in some cases though, but it's also hard as hell.

9 years ago
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Well, translations don't give you enormous amounts of money but salary is pretty nice if you ask me. It also depends on many variables (for example what you translate, if you work every day or every few days and so on). But Japanese translations are for sure better paid than English translations since outside of Japan and Asian countries this language is not spoken almost at all and not many people know it (I haven't met even one person in my city in Poland who would be able to write or speak in Japanese).

9 years ago
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Maybe in Poland, translators are paid better, but having talked to a few of translators here in Germany, because I wanted to be one, they all said that prices have plummeted over the past years, which kind of put me off. Of course, japanese translations are still better paid than english or a lot of other languages, that's a given, looking at the amount of foreign-speakers.

9 years ago
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Spanish. It is very useful to know where I live in the mid-Atlantic United States-- and of course Spain, much of Central/South America, etc.

9 years ago
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If I didn't know English, I would pick English. Almost everyone on this site knows English. Voted for Chinese.

9 years ago
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Japanese..i only know a little japanese..

9 years ago
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