"I think not," said Descartes, and promptly disappeared.

Thanks!

Joke:
Your mother is so fat, when she walked by the television, i missed three episodes.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Don't have a joke, but thanks!

Thanks a lot. My brother want to try this game.

ty (:

Knock Knock..
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
NO, Robin HOOD!

First of all: sorry for bad English & thanks!
Once there was an ugly bear in a forest. All hot female bears didn't like him. So instead he chose another hobby: beat up rabbits!
One day, he already hit the rabbit a bit a faerie appeared and said:
"You two! Stop! I hate when people hit each other. I'm even willing to give each of you 3 wishes!"
"Okay, I want that all bears in this forests here become female and hot on me!" the bear said. POOP - it happened
"I want a helmet, so the bear can't hit me anymore" and the rabbit got a helmet
"I want that all bears in this country become female and are hot on me!"
"I want a motocycle for rabbits that is faster than the bear!"
"I want that all bears on this planet become female and are hot on me!"
"The last thing I wish, is that this ugly bear here becomes gay now!"

thanks
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

What do you get if you cross an engineer and a dalmatian? a die.

Thanks, and..

Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you £10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you £10 he won't," said the second guy. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money. "I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"

iOS 6 Maps

thanks

It's red and bad for your teeth... a brick...

thanks :)

My sense of humour remains gloriously unfunny/inappropriate so you'll have to settle for this simple message of thanks instead. Thank you!

Ok, here goes!
What do you call a fish, with no eyes?
.......
...
..
Fssshhhhhhh!

Eh? eh? Yeah it's not really funny, but perhaps it is SO un-funny that it will go full circle and convince you that you simply MUST gift me that 3rd copy in an effort to keep your sides from bursting wide open.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, but before they can get further than the doorway the barkeep says "We don't take kindly to your kind here. Bad jokes stay outside."

the best joke in the comments

Thanks a bunch!
It's better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. -- Mark Twain

I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.

I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes replies Watson.

And what do you deduce from that?

Watson ponders for a minute. Well,

Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
But what does it tell you, Holmes?

Holmes is silent for a moment.

Watson, you idiot! he says. Someone has stolen our tent!

I’ll never forget the words my Grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said “Hey, watch how far I can kick this bucket.”

no joke but thanks! :)

Thanks!

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."