♫♪♫♪♫♪♫ Fanfares and Drumroll ♫♪♫♪♫♪♫

Sponsored by: "Secret Sauce Giveaway" group!

Citizens of SteamGifts, members of the community, fellow comrades games aficionados!
His Majesty, the Sauce King, invites you all to the Royal Ball when his new-born Daughter, the Secret Sauce, will be presented for the first time to the outer world outside the palace.
Unfortunately the venue of the event will not host you all:
Only the most valiant Knights will enter and be appointed with the One and Only Honor to serve and protect the Princess, Secret Sauce.

There will be requirements to be admitted, of course:

  • Submit an article you read (you do not have to write it, not saying you can't :D) about the most interesting stories from the Medieval past. Curiosities, Legends and non-widely known pieces are what we are looking for.
  • Submit a video about the most astounding representation and recreation of environments/battles/legendary events from the Medieval past. (do NOT post “Game of Thrones” videos ;P)
  • Invent here a tale worth to be told and you will obtain the title of Royal Bard for the amusement of the Princess.
    (Just 1 Spot for this position, so be creative and do not copy-paste from the internet or the Golden Guards will be on you before you get to say: “What?”)

The safety of our Princess and our Kingdom is in your courageous hands, prove here your capabilities.

RULES:

  • No multi-posting is allowed, just 1 post that may contain multiple suggestions.

  • If you happen to be awarded access to the group, remember not to share the Sauce with others, it’s called “Secret” and we wanna keep it that way.

  • Add me AND the admin on Steam ONLY AFTER having been whitelisted by Mr.Amorphism or invited to the group.

  • See our current giveaways here if you have been invited.


Our latest saucy giveaways:

8 years ago*

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A cool list of medieval monsters though it has a couple ancient ones. Hope the King deem me worthy!
https://web.cn.edu/kwheeler/monster_list.html

8 years ago*
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Too bad I cannot see all of their scary faces!

8 years ago
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Bump for the best!

8 years ago
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Submit an article... Do you mean it can be a link to some interesting story or I have to write it myself?

In the meantime ;)

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8 years ago
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Links. The "writing" entry is the third one!

8 years ago
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I had a hard time to decide which story is the finest to post. I put here the link to wikipedia article about Wawel Dragon, because you can still come see the beast breathing fire in Cracow ;)

8 years ago
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TLDR; all 3 requirements in one post ;p

  1. Did u know that in medival times people hardly drank water but BEER and WINE instead even at a very young age?
    This was due to not having any sanitation and sewerage and the water wassn't any good to drink. Hygiene was on a low back than people not realising or focusing on hygiene so they hardly washed themselves. Due to no flowing water inhome and having no toilets people just relieved themselves in the rivers or creeks nearby, dropped their trash just outside resulting in epidemics and loads of diseases.
    People drank up to 300 liters a year of BEER [nowadays its not even a 100 liters]!
    Due to the bad hygiene living enviroments and alcohol problems and people had to work hard [majority werent able to speak or write properly] people didnt reach over 40 back than. Source in Dutch

  2. In medival times knights had to fight mythical creatures Falkor going down?
    The knights usually fought in a large mob but the 1v1 battles were pretty hard as well

  3. Since i have been playing a lot with these people from SG recently i thought i would include them ;P

Come forth as i will tel you the story of 4 brave knights who where send out by the King CG on a journey to slay an evil entity in the ruins of Regifteroni a cave in the land of BadaRatzia where nasty creatures were known to be inhabited such as the Sidmeirian pirates and their leader Exemergenzyf the Beheader.
The people in BadaRatzia were happy and content in general and they were greatly respected by many other countries in the great war they won vs the Trolls of the Republic of Steam and their Halflifetree minions wich lasted for years

Anyways the knights were summoned because there has been a lot of looting and murdering going on and the Mods of the Round Table had their hands full alrdy using their famous hammers for weapons against the wicked CVBooster Tribesmen.

Therefore its up to these brave knights to kill the entity or entities in BadaRatzia.
These four brave knights consisted of :
Knight Salto
Knight Chack
Knight Misskpavd
Knight Bombaklats

All four knights had high principles and loved doing good for the sake of the people but they were excited to know that besides being made Earls at their return after completing the mission. They also found out that 1 would be chosen to marry princess Amorphism. The most beautiful princess of the whole world so it seems as she usually wore a red mask in public appearances. Legend has it that she has a hobby in alchemy using all kinds of secret sauces to try out on the food on the prisoners. Wich to the prisoners they are very happy to be chosen ones as its nothing they have tasted like ever before.

So on a bright sunny day 4 knights on their horses left the town and the unique filthy stench its known for. Passing the gates and moving over the bridge off to the beautiful landscape on their way to the ruins of Regifteroni. Passing many beautiful sights of waterfalls enormous trees and large flowerbeds in all kinds of coulours while walking towards the sun in a clear blue sky. After many hours of traveling and having small fights with local thugs along the way, they came upon a small town and since it was already getting nighttime the four knights decided to stay at a tavern/inn to discuss tactics have a drink and something to eat.

And so the night was fun with the knights having a lot of drinks talking to the local folksmen beeing cheered at for attemtping to slay the evil entity/entities that was awaiting for them. Some local folksmen say the entities use multiple visions to disguise their real identity wich could pose a problem to the knights but the knights were confident in slaying them. Wich got a big cheer again in the tavern. And the night lasted till the early hours of the morning......

Many days passed by and the king hasnt heard or seen any news from the knights since than. After a month a local messenger of the small town had information to the reward that was given out for any information on the whereabouts on the knights.

This local messenger was called MuahahahaMeow a blacksmith who happened to be there onthe night that the knights stayed over in the local tavern/inn. ''I saw those knights that night M'lord', they were having a good time enjoying the food and beer and wine and even the local ''entertainment'' there. But when they went to bed and the sunshine came out the next morning they were all found dead!

Apparently the knights died the next day:
This is what the messenger had to say

Knight Salto went back after he couldn't sleep that well to get another beer and got into a fight with a local brute called Hacker and got stabbed in the back
Knight Chack apparently died of local watered down beer
Knight Misskpavd died due to a combination of being 23 the wine and enjoying the ''entertainment''
Knight Bombaklats died from eating raw meat with attempted copied Princess's Secret Sauce.

morale? dont drink too much and be careful what u eat when abroad ;p

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8 years ago*
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8 years ago
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I'll revive thanks to the dragon balls

8 years ago
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Actually we used those so Master Roshi could feel Bulma up again...sorry Chack.

8 years ago
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Damn old perv.

8 years ago
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GUYS IM POPULAR LOOK AT ME \o/

8 years ago
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ok,

article

not quite what you asked for but I still liked this and found it interesting enough to share: linky

I went to Italy this summer and came across a lot of little towns doing medieval festivals. Wanted to find a youtube vid of one of those, but alas. Instead I give you this from my own country.

And finally the third requirement. A story. I actually told this a few nights ago to my kids and they loved it, Assuming the princess is in the same age group (2-5) I'm good. If she's a teenager I'm screwed... ;D

Knight-to-be Thomas was seriously nervous. Tomorrow he had to take the knight exam to finish his education and show the world was a real knight. Everybody knows a knight can do three things. 1. woe the princess by bowing gracefully while taking her hand a put a gentle kiss on it. 2. ride horses in full armour while being able to kill the straw doll with a lance 3. kill the dragon. Tomorrow he would have to show just these three things and he would be a knight. The problem was he knew he couldn't do either of them. And so he worried. To overcome his nerves he decided to take a little drink. Beer seemed like a good choice and it really was. After just a few the nerves calmed down, after a few more life seemed bright again and just a few more after that he stood on the bar shouting to everyone he was the best knight in the universe.

The next day our Thomas woke up. Late. And with a massive headache. Fear shot through his body. Oh no, I'm too late, he thought. Quickly he got dressed and rushed to the examinator. Just in time he arrived. A voice bellowed: next up: Thomas! Somebody opened a door and pushed him in so hard he tripped. His heart was racing as he tried to focus at the task at hand. The tripping could be considered as a more or less graceful bow, so now he just had to take the princess' hand and kiss it. So that's what he did. The most gentle kiss in the history of mankind it was too.

But wait. Why is the hand of the princess so hairy? And what is this hooveshaped nail at her thumb? Oh. Thomas felt rather stupid. More so when he tried to mount the horse and fell off at the other side. Finally he got on and charged the straw doll. Only to find out he forget to take his lance with him this morning. Damn. Not knowing what to do he just let the horse gallop along. Riding under a tree Thomas felt a massive blow to his already sore head bring tears to his eyes. A knight crying, that'll look good to his exeminators... Quickly he brushed the tears away to see a big branch of the tree had hit is head, broke, and fell into his lap. He tried to get the branch off his lap just when they passed the straw doll. It was a direct hit, destroying the doll completely.

Unsure what just happened, Thomas dismounted his horse and was pushed to the next door immediately, Another big shove made him trip again and he fell in the mud. Quickly he got up, took the hand and planted a kiss.... on the dragon's paw. He started to scream in fear, but stopped abrupty when he realised that wasn't the knightiest thing to do. Instead he drew his sword. Well, he tried to. It was not there. He had forgotten to bring it alond this morning... He ran for his life. The room he was in was circular and not too big. He kept running till he could run no more. The dragon had chased him all this time and now moved in for the kill. Both were pretty dizzy from the running around in circles and when Thomas fell over, so did the dragon. On top of him. Thomas fell all the air being pressed out of his body. Blood was everywhere and Thomas expected Death to arrive soon. It did, but not for him. The blood wasn't his, An ornamental spike at the top of his helmet had hit the dragon right in his heart. Pushing the dragon of him, there he was: his armour dented in all places, covered in mud and blood, without one piece of weaponry but still alive.

He looked nothing like a knight and felt he cheated his way to the final door. He knew his examinators would never allow him to be a real knight. The last door. The last challenge. He knew what was behind. The princess. He had thought he'd be most afraid for this challenge, But now he didn;t care anymore. He was exhausted, had a massive headache and he knew it was all for nothing He decided it didn't matter anymore. He had tried. And failed. All there was to do now was to kiss the princes and get it over with. He walked in the room. There she was. Instead of gracefully bowing he approached her, took her head in both hand and planted a big kiss on the girls mouth. So, that's that he thought when he walked away. His examintor stood waiting for him to bring him the bad news he so expected.

"Wait." he heard from behind. The princess spoke. She said; the only men coming through this door are gracious knights who bow and kiss my hand gently. But you: You're a beast. Filthy and dented as a tin can. Taking my head and kissing me on the mouth. It's outrageous. And I love it. All the other ones are boring as hell, but you are something different. Would you marry me, Sir ... ?

Thomas could only whisper his own name in disbelief.

8 years ago
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8 years ago
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Bumping to recruit more Knights!

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8 years ago
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8 years ago
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Legends, curiosities, and heroic feats aside, I'll just link to the types of fowl were on the menu in the medieval period.

8 years ago
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Closed 8 years ago by pappagentil.