10 years ago*

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Worse. Assembly, and called up to receive something. I think I hid it well enough before I stood up.

Now though, I'm wishing for such carefree days.

10 years ago
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Was it a boner where you see nothing that gets you hard but for some reason it just pops up?

10 years ago
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Yup

10 years ago
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Lmao.

10 years ago
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lol good one!

10 years ago
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NothIng quite like a timely double polaroid

10 years ago
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10 years ago
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wikihow is the weirdest crap I have ever read.

10 years ago
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I give you the most useless article I've ever seen on WikiHow.

(It was linked on a Reddit thread once, I wasn't googling "How to count how many fingers I have".)

10 years ago
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Internet gold.

10 years ago
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LOL! That was great.

10 years ago
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15 steps...best guide ever

10 years ago
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i needed this 20 years ago

10 years ago
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10 years ago
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Haven't you guys seen Superbad? Flip it into your wasitband.

10 years ago
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lol didnt think there was a wikihow for that

10 years ago
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10 years ago
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+1

10 years ago
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Boner101

10 years ago
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Flick it before you get up. (pun intended)

10 years ago
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Welcome to puberty, that sorta stuff happens about every other minute, even without hot gals presenting their rear.

So glad I'm past that weird stage of my life. And this is one case where it was lucky that I'm fat cuz my clothes were always baggy enough to hide anything going on downstairs, never had to worry about visibly pitching a tent in public.

10 years ago
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I'm glad those awkward days are gone, too. My dick would get hard whenever the wind would blow, and oftentimes, for no particular reason at all.

Me: "Looks like we're almost out of dog food. Better go to the store...."
Dick: "Hello! You taking the city bus or walking? No matter, I'll take the lead!"

At my age, however, it's usually the reverse problem.

Me: "Hey! Wake up! Can't you see that you're supposed to be on-duty?!"
Dick: "Huh? You talking to me?"
Me: "Get with it! This is your time to shine!"
Dick: "No, man... I'm resting. Wake me up in the morning when it's time to pee."

Thank God I'm still not in need of any "help" from all those spam emails about E.D., but I seem to be in the minority.

10 years ago
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Well, it was funny :)

10 years ago
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Looks like my puberty is alive and well in my 30s then... the thing still pops up a lot, even for no particular reason. It could be wielded proudly at school or university, but it's quite embarrassing at work :/

10 years ago
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Well, depends on your line of work ><__--

10 years ago
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I know your pain. I recently went to a doctor about it, turns out my prostate is way too tightly bound and overactive. Really nothing you can do but be prepared for your regular prostate exams when you get older to suck.

10 years ago
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10 years ago
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Standing up front during a wedding? Man that must be even more embarassing.

10 years ago
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10 years ago
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copy pasta worthy. thank you for that.

10 years ago
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I used to wear at least three layers of clothing just in case I had to hide one. Better safe than sorry.

10 years ago
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You should sex her.

10 years ago
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+1

10 years ago
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I'm pretty sure every guy gets it. Nothing new.

10 years ago
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Imagine you are having sex with her, that will probably stop the boner. Trust me, I'm a Dick Doctor.

10 years ago
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A dicktor?

10 years ago
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A dicktator.

Sorry. Couldn't resist.
10 years ago
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10 years ago
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10 years ago
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LOL

10 years ago
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I have a hard on while playing video games.

10 years ago
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Mmmmmmmhhhhhhmmmmmmm...Lydia...please...please do it again...

10 years ago
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Once in a class I was called out to the blackboard right when I had a boner. And while passing through the rows of desks I heard some girl saying to another "Has he grown a penis or does he have a boner? :o" Apart from that I usually managed to hide it :)

Oh, now I even remembered the reason of the boner :D Before the class my friends were discussing how they "accidentally" stumbled across porno sites :)

10 years ago
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Just imagine a tall black guy standing in the front of you.

That should insta-kill the boner right away.

10 years ago
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XD

10 years ago
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unless OP is Bi, then he will get über hard.

10 years ago
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Lmao.

10 years ago
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hahhaha :)))

10 years ago
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When this happens, proudly stride down the aisle to the blackboard, displaying your potent mark of beastly manhood with aplomb. Fuck judgement.

10 years ago
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Says Radagast.

10 years ago
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+1

10 years ago
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wear jeans

10 years ago
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How is being fourteen?

10 years ago
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you are a male human, that shit will always happen, and you won't be able to avoid it.

10 years ago
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I'm not sure how it is in Argentina, but here in America we grow out of that stage, and are generally able to control our bodies when a woman shows part of her ass.

10 years ago
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Yeah but that's because there isn't as much hot argentinian women in the US.

Also, Argentina is in America.

10 years ago
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There are hot American women, though.

Argentina is in the continent of South America, not the country of America. It's like the People's Republic of China, except slightly more capitalistic.

10 years ago
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I wasn't aware there was a country of America. I DO recall living in a country called the United States OF America, but no country called just America

10 years ago
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This would be a silly argument to have. I already explained how it works as the name of the country. Imagine the U.S. decides to dissolve all states and become one unfettered federal entity. Because there are no more states, the name is changed. It becomes the Fascist State of America. The unchanging factor here is the "America" part.

Edit: I'm aware that this is an extremely flawed/incomplete argument, but this stream started, so I don't have time to finish!

10 years ago
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Its part of the Latin American culture where they seem to be forced to point out they are Americans because they live on the American continent, which is really South America. They sure as shit know you are talking about the US when you say, America, or the American states, but again seem to be forced to be pedantic about it.

10 years ago
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Interestingly enough, I'm pretty sure both guys who corrected me are American (or should I say United-Statesian?), so it's not just South Americans. I don't know enough about Latin American culture to agree with you, though, but I find the whole thing silly. American/America are internationally accepted terms for the people/country situated south of Canada and north of Mexico.

10 years ago
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Yea if he was in the US, he could have focused on some of the obese girls for a minute to lose his boner.

10 years ago
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Classy.

10 years ago
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Classy like a extra large combo and a diet coke.

10 years ago
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Better supersize it

10 years ago
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I feel like you're trying to discretely say "MURICA!"...

10 years ago
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Nope, just that most males as they get older become better at controlling their sexual excitement. I didn't literally mean that American men and Argentinian men are different in such ways.

10 years ago
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you must be in the pansy "look away" part of murica... cuz the murica that im in men are men and like looking at the sexy ladies and are not afraid to show it. and men never grow out of that stage. we just hide it around certain people.

10 years ago
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Oh, right, I forgot. You're totally correct. YAY TITS!

10 years ago
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You must have some magic body power if you can control when you get or lose a boner. I am well past my teens and I still get the random boner even without any visual or thought provoking sights. I sure as hell cant dispel the damn thing in a hurry short of a quick trip to palm-dale.

10 years ago
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I don't have exact control over it, but I can will myself not to get a boner when I feel one coming on.

10 years ago
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now you know 'where' you wanna spend prom night

10 years ago
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I spent my prom night playing games on my DS :U No regrets were had.

10 years ago
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...

10 years ago
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And no fucks were given. Literally.

10 years ago
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except by pretty pink patty and her 5 sisters

10 years ago
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I didn't go to prom either. We made the right decision.

10 years ago
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I'm a girl and I ditched grad prom to play games at home too. Plus I didn't feel like throwing out 200€ for a night I could never under any circumstances enjoy. I'll rather spend it on games, tech improvement and developing my cg skillz. #Fakkyeah
I have no regrets.

10 years ago
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+1, same here

10 years ago
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:'D

10 years ago
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People still go to prom?

10 years ago
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10 years ago
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Lol this guy has the classiest Steam profile I've ever seen!

10 years ago
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LOL thank you for prompting me to look at that, all class!

10 years ago
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Yoga pants, yoga pants everywhere.I became a chameleon while trying to check girls' asses in my college.

Shit happened to me a lot of times in high school.And as a circumsized guy, it's almost impossible to hide or get rid of it.

If you think it deeply, being a male is a lot worse than being a woman.We start having boners and sudden urges to have sex when we're 11-12.Yet it's impossible to have sex at least 3-4 years so it's a freakn joke ...

"Let's create women who almost never want to have sex.And lets make most of them have sex at the age of 21.

Let's make men ... Meh just make all hormones active when they're 11, let's watch them writhe with the urge to have sex !"

10 years ago
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The stupidity within this post is off the charts yo

10 years ago
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Rofl, that seems about right.

Most girls nowadays here where i live have sex at around 14, and it's going down each year! More and more cases of girls starting sexual approach at 12 and 13.

There are plenty of young chicks with 20-year old look-a-like bodies, no wonder why older men/boys want to give it a shot, since they are younger and usually easier to give it a try.

It's like most relationships nowadays are like this, girls are a couple years younger, sometimes more than just a couple of years, which is wrong imo.

10 years ago
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+10/10 would lol again

10 years ago
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Id take a relatively easy to hide boner, because lets face it, how big of a dick does an 11-12 year old have, over bleeding for 5 or so days every month followed by intense, shoot me in the fucking face now, pain.

10 years ago
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I'd switch the monthly round of bloody diarrhoea, killer pain with no legal effective medicine and 3 weeks of abdominal pain in a month any time for a random occassion boner. Hell, let me drop in pregnancy and birth too. Truly. I'd totally switch with you. Take my stupid health issues and I'll even gladly participate in a prostate exam.
Next time you make such a silly statement, think first. Thank you in the name of everyone who's less ignorant. I hope you won't have more problems in your life than an occassional boner.
And no, this is not raging, just an argument why you're not exactly right.

10 years ago
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It's not just about boners, I just gave that example because it was relevant to this topic.

This sums up why being a man is harder.
You think man don't suffer ? Try getting kicked in the balls.Hell,you don't even need to get kicked.Just let something touch between your balls and suffet a 5 mins of agony.

Also, women are freakn incomprehensible.Men tries everything to make you happy, trying to understand what you want.But NOBODY UNDERSTANDS WHAT YOU PEOPLE WANT.%70 of times a 4.y.o. have more logic than you.

Also, you failed in school ? Meh, just marry some random guy and use his money.Oh you're also beautiful ?! Then marry a rich guy and rape his money supplies.

%90 of women don't need to do shit in USA&EU.You can always marry some random guy and live with his money.If men fails in school a hard,really hard life waits him.

Being a man IS harder than being a women.I prefer being an illogical creature that bleeds for a week every month, rather than trying to accomplish my impossible tasks in society.

When they invent a gender switch machine, we should both go for it together.Then meet a year later and see who were right.Damn it looks like a good movie idea -_-

10 years ago
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Wat da heck, man. Assuming being a byatch/dick to someone is about gender (well, the titles maybe) is just plain stupid (actually it's sexist to be honest, but that = taboo - it's just wrong to judge someone by gender). In my experiences there is no difference in behavior. Both can breed geniuses or retards.
Your stereotypes are bad and you should feel bad. It's untrue. Why? Because we're humans. Humans are bad. Get over it and don't blame or judge someone just because (s)he's a girl/boy/genderqueer/alien/red/blue/whatever.
Good movie idea? It's been done before.
Kick in the nuts? Do you get that monthly, or what? Yeah, I heard that some guys even throw up after it. You can get that from periods too (I would and I do have severe nausea and dizzyness, but I can't even vomit when I'm sick, so not really - but it did happen once). BTW If you get kicked in the nuts, then there's a huge chance that you actually deserved it. Or you're into SM and you asked for it - enjoy. But same goes for women. Pubic bone fracture or a broken pelvis is no child's play either. Yep, it CAN happen, it's just rare, because not many people think about kicking them there. Ouch OUCH OOOOOOUCHHHHHH not want. So how about not getting on people's nerves?
I'm pretty sure it's not harder to be a man. At least I didn't say it's harder to be a woman. Both can be bad but I'd rather enjoy having a dick, thank you. Maybe because all my problems would be gone, replaced by random boners. In mah JEANS!

OH MY GOD! Wait - the judgement ship is here. Aren't you from Turkey?! I hear men people treat women like sh*t around there (can't say communistic or post-communistic states have it a lot better tho). Yep, friend's personal shocking experience. Plus other homies who have been there. Not your fault of course, and again - a cultural stereotype, because there are some normal guys there too. You might be different, but you make it all sound bad. Why the hell did I started an argument with you... - SEE? This is how easy is to judge someone by something beyond their damn control!
Closure? You want that? No man or woman is property. People can NOT be bought, can NOT be forced to act against their will. Both are living creatures with feelings and shit. The magic of it all? Hm... Maybe this: Don't be a dick. Do good. Expect nothing in return. Don't be utilitarian. It'll come to you.
Worked for me.

10 years ago
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tl;dr.
You sound pissed, lets wait for a week before we continue our discussion.huehuehuehue.

Okay I'm totally a dick when it's about women.But don't blame me, your kind screwed me over so many times that I kinda lost my trust.AND STAHP JUDGING TURKEY BY 1-2 CITIES.We treat women like godess', in west.In one or two cities in East, they're a currency.You can get 5 cows by selling one of your 20 daughters.

You kinda missed every point I ever made sooo I'm not sure how to keep arguing with you.

Men are simple, we want to have sex and live a calm life.Women are complex,nobody knows what you people want.This isn't a stereotype, this is what it is in general.When something is true for a %90 of a population, it is not a stereotype, it's a general idea about that population.And I'm not saying women are bad or anything, I'm just saying your kind is extremely complex.You wrote 546 words in an arguement and I still have no idea what are you trying to accomplish.We can't understand each other unless we change genders or something.

I just want women to stop treating men like shit because we don't bleed every month.It's not that simple,being a man isn't as easy as it looks.I'll never understand the pain of period and you can never understand the curse of having a dick.

P.S. Turkish and Hungarians have the same ancestors you know ? Our men especially, are from the same blood.I'm not sure if they teach you that but Huns are Turkish and Turkish are Huns.So think twice before saying something about our men -_-

10 years ago
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TLDR? It's fine, I like to argue anyway :P

Men want sex and a calm life... Hm. Kind of. And then they throw it away because their minds can randomly turn just as foggy as an imbecile woman's. Personal family experience. Plus a lot of my close friends suffered the same from their dad's idiocracy too - MULTIPLE TIMES! I know about the same amount of cretin husbands as wives. So again: it's not just women. It's humans and their stupidity.

Yep, I know that T & H has an ancestory past, but they say H's came from an even more distant territory (Urals), then met with Turks along their path to the Carpathian Mountains. Such a beautiful genetic mixture we all are. Then after a long long break you Turks came and invaded us for 150 years, and more blood was spilled in the battles than in the Game of Thrones. It's even in our Hymn. Such a sad history we have together, and I personally wouldn't use this kind connection when trying to convince a young Hungarian lady with your loving nature.
By the way the only reason I brought up your whereabouts was to make a point how easy it is to lift some stereotypes, because I'm damn tired of those, no offense. And I was right - you did confirm it. I thoroughly stated I don't know about your status on these things, so I did not incriminate you - "you might be different" - I said. I don't know you, really. But you still make it sound really really bad.

Virtual hugs and kisses, my distant relative. May our torn souls reunite with the joy of equality and love.

10 years ago
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Your last sentence made me want to do this ... DIGITAL HIGH FIVE !

But hey, Ottoman =/= Turks.Ottoman was an empire with about 17 different races.I personally don't accept Ottoman as a Turkish empire.I still don't know how we get to the history of Ottoman, from boners.Well they were bunc of b's anyway.I'm studying my history final for tomorrow sooo that's probably why I talk about history all the time ^^

Okay it was nice arguing with a smart Hungarian lady, you're really different from women around me.Let's agree on one thing, being a man and being a women is equally hard alright ?

Aaaaand it's 3 am, new Hearthstone quest came.GTG sorry, see you later ^^

10 years ago
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I actually placed my hand. #herpderp
Hungarians =/= Turks either for that matter :D Let's just say all 3 are connected, just not exactly the same.
YAAAAAAYYYYY SUCH BLENDS.
I'm glad we could finally come to understand eachother. I can agree with it being equally hard.

Heartstone... The Yugioh of 2014. Hahah. I'd say have fun, but staying up that late when you have finals is kinda wrong. Though I kinda did the same, because I couldn't sleep. The next day I had to OD on tea to stay awake, huh.
Cya, bro.

10 years ago
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W-What the hell is wrong with you? I-I can't even understand this fuckery you're spitting out

10 years ago
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Both can be bad but I'd rather enjoy having a dick, thank you. Maybe because all my problems would be gone, replaced by random boners.
You forgot the case of no boners at all which would be your destiny probably.

10 years ago
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Oh DAMN! Doesn't matter.
Or, I'd have a boner 24/7. Now that would be painful.

10 years ago
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You are a legit fucking idiot. Jesus fucking christ dude, do I need to call the hospital and police to escort you to a mental ward or something? You are so goddamn stupid. It fucking hurts.

10 years ago
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Do you always insult people without explaining yourself, you dickless illogical creature ?

10 years ago
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I don't even feel like I need to. Most normal people will see that you're a goddamn idiot. also "dickless illogical creature" XDDDDD

10 years ago
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10 years ago
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Try not getting a boner when your hot teacher sits in your lap.

10 years ago
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I want that teacher.

10 years ago
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He was home schooled

10 years ago
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Wasnt,but she was really awesome and hot.

10 years ago
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Awesome and hot teacher that sat on your lap? you high bro?

10 years ago
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This guy helped me get through most of my adolescent years. Clicky

10 years ago
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Closed 10 years ago by Deleted-6470355.