Defeated Depression

So far the fort has been held! 🫡

Thank you :D

It does I kind of feel like I'm a bird except I can't fly, but I definitely feel free like one!

Yeah I am definitely proud thank you! Yeah my Gramps was like pray the depression away sort of thing. (Which is crazy) So much work to do on ourselves glad I could do what I could with what I had sort of thing haha!

Depression has a unique way of robbing people of their 'momentum' in life, and it creates a certain gravity towards silence and isolation unless you have a decent amount of support in people you associate with. Having taken the steps to get medication is a great step, but don't stress if you don't notice the positive effects, those can creep up on you gradually enough that its like a kind of optical illusion, so to speak.

Deconditioning any harmful stuff that built up over those long years is going to be messy at times, and can seem impossible and overwhelming if you go in without guidance from the educated and patient, but like, you've set yourself on the right track. It might not all be linear progress, there might be moments of regression, or even despair, but you're doing this.

Though my own experience with depression was less 'simply clinical' and more embroiled with various other complexities, I found it helped to be mindful that if nothing else, the hurt is real. If you ever find yourself invalidating your experience or your internal monologue being destructively negative towards yourself, then just acknowledging that the pain is real can help. Sure, the pain can come from a place of 'illusary' factors, traumas, memories, anticipations, fears, etc, but if nothing else, the pain itself is very real, and even if 100% of everything else was based in misunderstanding or maladjustment, that pain alone is more than enough to gravely affect the trajectory of a persons life and wellbeing, and can eat a person up and twist their outlook all on its own, y'know?

You're a human being, and you deserve to feel human, to have your experience be acknowledged as valid, and to have some basic peace of mind in your day to day life. It can be torturously slow to heal and progress, but the fact you're 'fighting' it now means you're headed in the right direction. The unreliable narrator inside of you that turns everything a shade darker can't win every skirmish, and now you're learning its tricks, you'll turn that Win:Loss ratio around with practice. ;)

I'm in that state too and I don't know what words to use without knowing your situation, but I wanted to write that someone who cares read your message and wishes you luck in getting out of this (gentle hug)

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