When sorrow Ends?

Diazepam? It might depend on your country but usually doctors are very reluctant towards it, and some people can form a habit, i would suggest that but if they do prescribe it, it's generally not forever and you can't predict when the pain gets less.
A tip to persuade them is also to say you don't sleep well.

Alcohol is a temporary solution, but it just hits back harder the next day.

Stength to you.

Commiserations for your loss, I wish I could offer you sage advice but the truth is that after 4 years to the day I still find it almost unbearable to imagine that my mother is no longer part of my life. I don't think I'll ever really find it bearable, and maybe that's the way it should be because otherwise it would mean she meant nothing. There's my life before she died and what came after, you won't be the same afterwards. The one thing I can offer as advice is to find a way to compartmentalize your grief and feelings, turn it into something that you can lift and carry with you and not risk it becoming an anchor around your neck. It doesn't mean you won't care less or miss her the same but it enables you to face that new sunrise every morning. I know from personal experience how easy and safe it feels to hide in grief, to wrap it around you and retreat from the world, but it's an illusion, a false fallacy. Avoid the people who will try to keep you down and see to your own needs first above all else. I hope you can find your way through this difficult time.

First of all, I'm really sorry you're going through this :(

When I was 21, I lost my cousin. He was only 10 years old when we found out he had leukemia, but we discovered it when he got infected with dengue.

It's been 10 years already and I still feel sad about losing him, but I try to remember the happy times we had together. I remember that the last time I saw him I was helping with his math homework, teaching fractions using a clock. And the last thing he taught me was a yo-yo trick.

I know that every person takes it a different way, but I don't think getting drunk or taking meds is the right way. I recommend that you talk to a professional.

It still pains me, it's like he took a little part of me with him. But therapy and talking to my friends helped me a lot.

I wish you strength and all the best during this difficult time.

Lots of good replies in this thread!

Grief affects everyone. It's one of the ways we know we're alive. :) Give yourself time and space to process the grief.

And know that you're not alone.

Dear Peiperissimus,

I'm really sorry for your loss.

Sorrow is one of the most natural feelings in such cases. One of the healthiest ways to cope with it would be channeling it into something else (and no, I'm not talking about alcohol and/or drugs at all). That might be anything as long as you can manage to transform the feeling into different emotions. That's the key point. One of the most common ways to reduce anxiety and stress in such situations is doing some light exercises such as walking outside. With that said, I'm well aware that the hardest part is always taking the first step, but I believe in you. You CAN and WILL overcome it. Just in time...

Life is a period of transition and once our metamorphosis is done, we all need to move on to the next stage, to the land of unknown. While that transition IS scary for the one experiencing it, it's just as scary for the others related to the individual (in this case, that's you). Even though time -as we perceive it- is irreversible, our memories keep all those moments of the past, all those split seconds before such transitions happen intact. Now it's up to you to keep her memory, her legacy alive. Honor her life, embrace the love she had for you, cherish all those moments you had with her.

Her physical presence might not be with you anymore, but as long as you keep the light kindled within yourself, you both will find peace.

Sending you my sincerest condolences.
Just another soul that cares

im very sorry for your loss, being sad is a completely normal part of the process, dont ever forget about her, dont move past, just remember the happy moments you had with her, drinking or drugs is never the answer, it doesnt fix the issue and just creates another one, i hope all goes well and May God bless you <3

As someone who is currently dealing with the death of 3 loved ones a 2 year span; I understand where you are coming from well. I can only say as someone who abstains from the things is to take each day one at a time. Surround yourself with friends and family; those who care about your wellbeing. Work towards a brighter tomorrow for today may be bleak; but it is only the Minuet(Song) before the dawn rises again.

hey there. really sorry for your loss, keep strong!!
i'm also atm helping a good friend through the hard times after loosing her mother. there are good days, and there are bad days. but it is possible to cope, and it is getting better.
seeing that with the help of certain substances you currently help yourself deal with it that means you have it in yourself to deal with it, they just help you bring it forward. as they are bad for your body/health and i am sure also your mother wouldn't like you relying on them, i hope you soon find in yourself that strength to only rely on that inner strength to deal with those bad moments. you CAN deal with those inner demons, that are trying to get you down, you know it, it is just not always that easy. find your strength, i am sure she would have helped you. and this is it: though she might be gone physically, the time and moments with her won't ever be gone, they will stay with you forever.. as well as her... 'spirit'.. in the way that you know her and what she likely would have done or said. you are missing her, but don't let that sadness define her and your past and don't let it taint the wonderful memories with and of her. i hope you soon connect with that part of you that gives you the strength to carry on by yourself and to hold her memories as a way to give you comfort, because for sure you were dear to her, and for sure that would befit her.
hugs, all the best to you

Lots of good advice here. Just wanted to say, I am sorry for your loss. Take a break. Relax. Get lost in something that doesn't destroy your body. Go to places that remind you of her.

I am Japanese and I don't speak any English.
That's why I use a translator to read your messages and to share my own thoughts.
Because of this, my words might come across as rude or awkward, but I still wanted to say something to you, so I decided to write this.

First of all, please accept my deepest condolences for the loss of your wonderful mother.

What you need right now isn’t medication or alcohol—it’s time and conversation with others.
Time has a way of softening both joy and sorrow.
I feel that, deep down, you already know this too.

It might not compare to the sadness you’re feeling, but when my ex-wife abandoned our child and disappeared, leaving only debts behind, I went through many sleepless nights from stress.
(Since I’m allergic to alcohol, I couldn’t even drink to cope.)
In the end, what helped bring my heart back to a more stable place was simply time—and the sense of duty to raise my child properly.

Fortunately, you have friends who care enough to give you medicine and worry about you.
You also have a father with whom you can share memories of your mother.

Rather than focusing only on your grief and the sorrow in your heart, please also look toward the people who are still with you—your friends and your father.
Instead of turning to alcohol or medication, why not go out with your friends—see a movie, go shopping, take a drive?
And maybe go out for a nice meal with your father.

We live in different countries, so our religions and values might be very different.
It’s possible that my words may upset you—or perhaps you’re too exhausted even to be angry.
Even so, I truly hope that you will find a way to heal from your sorrow.

I am sorry for your loss. The sorrow should be easier to deal with in time. She must have been a great mother and you seem to have really loved her. I hope that you can manage to feel better soon.

Thank you everyone! This is chatting with friends. I preciate this!! This Help!

Yesterday were shitty day.
I needed to clear out my Mother's summer "Room". She rented a room from nice Villa in Turku's Archipelago.
I visited there just after her death... Checking around, especially nothin in Refridgerator... Looking around... No so much...

Yesterday was Shitty day!!
Yesterday, I went there with my friend (Friend came for support).I thought we would be done in 1h... F**k that, 4 hours.
Well, it is now done!! Shitty thing but had to be done!

Pain / Sorrow come in waves... I hate That!

I still use alcohol, but medication I have not yet taken.

Sorry, I forget to say, My Mother and Father Divorced 30y ago.
They have been in very Cold relations, but they were able to cope, if needed.

My father help me now, because of me.

Depending on the depth of the emotions, the effect can last with varying intensity and duration. The sharpest emotions usually dull after three months, become bearable after a year and a half, and completely weaken within 7-10 years. In my case it was like this. I know, it sounds too long, but we are talking about the most acute manifestations of grief. It usually lasts a long time if the person already has symptoms of affective disorders (like depression), as well as a lack of certain support and dissatisfaction (malnutrition, vitamin deficiency, exhaustion, lack of communication, etc.).

The recommendation about meds is correct, but it is necessary to support them with communication and leisure in a pleasant environment at least sometimes, so that caring people, if any, can closely monitor your condition. Also, you should not increase the dose without a doctor's permission: in the best case, it will lead to minor side effects, such as weakening and disruption of some vital functions, and in the worst case scenario, it will be very, very painful and will not provide any comfort. A small dose for numbing emotions is safe.

You seem to love her a lot, she probably would have liked to see you blossom,
can't really relate the intensity of your pain, as i just lost some very close friends yet,
but i hope that time will ease your sorrow, have at least a virtual hug !

I am sorry for your loss. It is good that you have friends, your father (and perhaps other family too). I think that talking, sharing and appreciating all the good memories you have had with your mother, will help over time. The loss will not disappear, but it will become easier to think of other everyday things.