I'm Okay

In case any of the people who where worried didn't know yet, I'm fine.

I'm guessing some of you want to know what happened. That new job I got? Couldn't handle it. So I tried to kill myself. There's a long story with that, but it ended with me being hospitalized for the past week.

I guess, for once it helped. I don't want to kill myself anymore.I still wish I was dead, and am still plagued with constant suicidal thoughts, but it's a start. And if I'm not going to kill myself, nor do anything dangerous that may lead to it because I'm a pussy, I can at least make my life not as bad as possible. But I don't think it will ever be good. I can't make it, I don't have to motivation. I can't do it for me, because I hate myself too much to do something good for myself. And for others, I've changed myself into what I am now to do right by them, and I've failed horribly. I can't fucking do it again. I faked it 'till i made it into a someone that most don't completely hate, I'm too scared to be myself who I already know people will.

Happiness isn't something I think I'll reach. I got problems I can't overcome. Others have way worse, but I'm too weak to deal with depression and anxiety and other issues. That other issue is that I wish I were a girl. That's a secret that I haven't told anyone, but fuck it. privacy ain't a thing to y'all. I mean, my mom figured that out by what you sent my parents, so I guess I might as well confirm it to anyone of you wondering so you don't assume I'm gay like everyone else does. Btw, my mom wanted to say "thanks for reaching out."

I guess I shouldn't be mad. I saw the two posts, I'll reply to some of the replies later. Y'all cared and worried about me, sorry for that, I'm not worth it. You also made they past year of mine a little more bearable. I can't talk to people, and while this ain't a good enough substitute for a friend, it made me feel better than I would have felt without it, so thanks for both of those things.

I not doing giveaways right now, swing by lugum's post if you want them.
I don't really know what I'll do with sg in the near future. I don't even know what I'm going to do with my life. This is still a place of comfort, but it's no longer private. Anyway, thanks again.

Love Y'all!

-Tree

Edit: Hahahaha, it's my cakeday too? Fucking hell.