Daddy, those guys at school are saying that i'm gay.
well, beat the shit out of them!.
Oh dad, but they are so cute.

derps, gl everyone

you call that creative?

.. Whaat?

He said creative, not recycled Justin Bieber jokes

I never do either, sad to say. Even if people here were to come up with the best jokes ever, I wouldn't be able to remember them for dear life. :/

KURISTINA, my assistent! It's your task to amuse me!

You are just Secretly jealous... that's why!

Oh God that's horrible. I cringed, and immediately headdesk'd.

Good one! xD

<insert random reaction to random joke cue here>

i posted that joke elsewhere in the forum. =P

And since you asked:

Jack and his friends were playing golf one Saturday.

As they are getting ready to tee off, a guy walks up and asks if he can join them.

The friends look at each other, look at the guy and say, "Sure."

About two holes into the game, the friends get curious about what the guy does for a living.

So they ask him. The stranger tells them he's a hitman.

They all laugh. The guy says, "No really, I am a hitman. My gun is in my golf bag. I carry it everywhere. You can take a look at it if you like."

So Jack decides to check it out. He opens the bag and, sure enough, there is a rifle with a huge scope attached.

Jack gets all excited and says, "WOW! I bet I can see my house through here! May I look?"

The hitman replies, "Sure."

So Jack looks and says, "YEAH! You can see my house! I can even see through the windows into my bedroom. There's my wife. Wait, there's my next door neighbor! And he's naked too!"

This really upsets Jack so he asks how much it would be for a hit.

The hitman replies, "I get $1000 every time I pull the trigger."

Jack responds, "$1000? Well, OK, I want two hits. I want you to shoot my wife right in the mouth. She's always nagging at me and I can't stand it. Second, I want you to shoot my neighbor in the penis, just for screwing around with my wife."

The hitman agrees, gears up and looks through the scope.

He's looking for about five minutes until finally Jack starts to get really impatient and asks, "What are you waiting for?

The hitman replies, "Relax..... I'm about to save you a thousand bucks!"

That's my favorite joke ever, also seen it on Notch's blog :D. Thanks for sharing the joke with others... and the gifts too ;)!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH