Hello dear community,

i dont do much post about my private life but i found this morning that i shoud share my joy !!

Despite i wanted a girl (i was selectionning girl first name mostly in fact), the result came from the echography:
a boy...
I feel relieved for now everything is fine and OK after the fifth month echography :-)

If you have any advice please feel free to reply.

  • about sleeping a child
  • about feeeding a child
  • about nursing a child
  • about using a disposable nappy (washable or not) heard about 4 tons used for one child !!!
  • about giving him most of what i can without putting him to much pressure...
  • about making him a good person
  • about everything ;-)

Thank you

Here is some GA mostly free games but there are great games. Start adventure here:
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/EqIOx/shadowrun-hong-kong-extended-edition

2 months ago

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burp

2 months ago
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Congrats! I have a little baby girl. Make eye contact when you are talking with him. First 4-5 months he will not react to his daddy much, be patient and you will understand being a daddy when he is older than 6 months. Make sure he feels his parents' love. Do not buy too much toys, he will be distracted. Hug him! Hug him again! They grow fast, spend your time as long as possible with him. Let him lick things he curious about once in a while, he won't be ill so easily. Keep him away from mobile phones, tablets and pc's, even TV if it is possible.

2 months ago
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Thank you for the advices :-)
yes for the "screen" danger in the beginning ;-)

2 months ago
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Congrats ! well my niece is sometimes crying when she is laying.when i grab her hands she tried to get up :D she is only 40 days.So i picked her up and she no longer cry. :). So my advice try to understand her :=)

2 months ago
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Bump and thank you.
Luck and good fortune be unto you and people you love.

2 months ago
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First of all, congratulations, and good luck with the rest of the pregnancy.

As for advice, I'd say these:

  • First of all, every child is different. For example, my first slept 8 hours straight at 6 weeks old, while my second woke up at night until age 4. They have different temperaments, had different attitudes towards food, etc. There's a wide range of normal behaviour for babies and toddlers, and no need to fret too much about it, or try to force them into behaving a certain way. Sure, they need to learn all kinds of stuff eventually, but it's fine if it happens differently.

  • Try to understand your kid early on. They show their character from about the moment they're born. But they'll also try to play you from the moment they're born. So don't give in too easily. They might cry just to get attention, and later on throw tantrums to get stuff. Try to give them what they want without giving in too easily.

  • Accept that you'd get peed on, deal with lots of disgusting stuff, don't get much sleep, need to deal with pressure from outside sources, like family, who think they know best, and all other kind of stuff that's not fun. Try to get through it smiling.

  • About making him a good person, there will always be a discussion of nature vs. nurture, but I think that there's good in the vast majority of people, and that kids get a lot of stuff from their environment. If the parents are nice to each other and to other people, the kids will accept that as normal. If you teach your kid of to get ahead in life by stepping on others, they'd get that. If you regularly help people while you're with your kid, they'd think it perfectly reasonable. Everyone defines 'good person' a little differently, depending on what they care about more, but if you behave the way you want them to behave, there's a good chance they'd learn some of that. But they'd still have their own character. Don't expect them to be exactly like you.

  • Along the way, be aware of outside influences. For example bad teachers can have a negative effect, make your kid less happy. On the other hand, I'd say that you shouldn't micromanage your kid. Let your kid make friends (you can help early on if there's need), accept that teachers aren't perfect, etc. It's good for a kid to experience all kinds of people, as long as they can deal with them. It's better to teach them to deal with things than overprotect them. Just be sensitive to any negative changes in your kid's mood or behaviour and try to understand the reason and deal with it.

I'm sure I could come up with more stuff, and I'm sure that there are differing opinions.But I think I'll stop now.

2 months ago
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Thank you very much for the advices !! <3

1 month ago
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Congratz ^-^ bump

2 months ago
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Wow congrats! :)

I'm no parent so I'm not good for advices but when in doubt believe in your instincts, you'll do the right thing.

2 months ago
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TKS :-)

1 month ago
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Congratulations! If you read enough about what's the "best" way to raise a kid, the more you'll see that no one really has a clue - what is best changes every few years. And what works for one person might not work for you; heck, I have three kids and they each needed something different to get them to sleep. We used nearly only cloth nappies with our first kid, but used disposable nappies more and more for kid 2 and 3. The fact that you're asking the bottom three questions make me think you'll do fine :). Hang in there, your sleep will get better.

1 month ago
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Thank you :-)

1 month ago
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Congratulations! Here's a bump.
I hope you got some good advice from the very mature people on SG.

1 month ago
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Congratulations!
Now about the other stuff, I don't have kids yet but I've helped raise my nephew and niece and here's one important thing: don't pressure yourself. The more expectations you put on yourself, and on your kid, the more disappointment you'll get. Your kid will grow to be a little person. Love him and learn to know him as he grows up and everything will be just fine. People who are trying to get their kids to be somethng they aren't end up being stressed and bitter and passing it all on to their kids.

And I totally agree with those who say "be good to yourself". It's a hard thing to do as a parent. You'll feel guilty for taking time to yourself but it's important. You can't be an attentive parent if you're overwhelmed 100% of the time.

1 month ago
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Thank you for those kind words☺️

1 month ago
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Congrats!!:) I have but one advice....make sure to choose a decent name, I'm not joking, I know of a ~7yo child named Abcdef, pronounced ab-ser-de....

1 month ago
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congrats !

1 month ago
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just remember kids are very bouncy. Don't worry about breaking the baby, and you'll be fine

1 month ago
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Congrats! And thanks for the GA's! I have a 1 month old at home (girl) and it's truly rewarding. Best of luck with everything!

1 month ago
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GG !

There is no recipe, be yourself and try somethings with good mood (important!), you will find yourself the best things.
It will be hard sometimes, but his smile will erase all worries.

(Just one thing, be carrefull with his little liquid canon when you will open the nappy, prepare to close it quickly :p )

My son is 8 month old now, just the better thing I had do in my life :)

1 month ago
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Thank you :-)

1 month ago
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Late to reply, and lots of good stuff has been said. I had twins, so some of my decisions/thoughts/advice are affected by that, but here are a few things. They are all just my opinion, and you'll figure out your own way.

  • Whether to breastfeed or not is 100% your wife's decision. How long to do so, is 99.9% her decision. It doesn't work for every mother-baby combo, and for goodness sake if it doesn't, do everything you can to make sure she doesn't feel inadequate (she will anyway). But make sure either way that the baby gets fed and thrives.
  • Sleep is important. Schedules are important. The charts out there that say they need X hours of sleep at various ages are correct. Those cute videos on YT of kids nodding off in their Cheerios are because they were kept up too late. I see families with babies / small children out at the mall at 21h and it makes me worried for them.
  • With twins, we had no real choice but to use disposable diapers and a Diaper Genie. But changing diapers should be 95% your job, not hers. And don't complain about it, at least not to her. ;)
  • As a father, you get back what you put in. Some things are unavoidable (work, travel, etc.) but be there...spend time with them at all stages of life. Listen to them. Even when they're very young, don't be a distant or disinterested Dad, or often too busy to spend time with them.
  • I'm a believer in positive discipline. That means instead of punishing bad behavior, try to reinforce its positive opposite. That said, it doesn't always work. :P
  • Try not to use shame or guilt with them. Making them feel badly about themselves hurts them in the long run more than it helps in the short-term. Remember: their inner voice as they grow up is the voice of their parents. It hugely affects self-esteem.
  • Try to remain calm on the outside, even when everything's going to hell. Don't escalate.
  • It's controversial, but IMO never resort to physical/corporal punishment. There's been tons of research on it.
  • Don't let your son know that you wanted a girl, unless he asks. ;-) By that time you probably wouldn't be able to imagine it any other way.
  • Be stable. Children need to feel safe physically and emotionally, and they derive most of that sense of safety from their parents.
  • Tell him you love him every single day, or more.
  • Teach him about honesty early on. You have to build a foundation of trust with them early to get you through the later years. Let them know it's much better to tell you what they did, than lie about it.
  • If you or your wife have bad childhood experiences that shaped you, it's very easy to do the same thing to your children, often without realizing it. Know your demons, so you don't propagate them to your kids.

Good luck!

1 month ago
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Thank you for the advices !!! :-)

1 month ago
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Congratulations!

1 month ago
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1st of all congrats! I am not married nor have a child. I did however help look after my nephew and niece, from young and the latter from birth. Boys are harder to nurture as we are tentatively more playful and active. There's a streamer I watch whom taught his child sign language, simple ones since they have to start learning too. Its a method of expression so the child knows how to communicate with you even though they do not speak well yet. I think its a good method and will try it out when I have a child.

Since babies cry alot and I did not have much experience before, they are so fragile and precious. One thing I did when my niece cried was put her beside me and pretend to sleep. hahaha Well, after awhile she'll far asleep too, babies still need to sleep alot. I also like to at times carry here and place her close to my chest since they are used to listening to heartbeats, listening to your heartbeat should calm them down, however we try not to carry her much since they'll become dependent and wants you to carry them alot.

Try to do what you preach, if you tell them not to eat chocs then dont eat chocs, at least not infront of them. If there's a situation that you're caught for example, explain. It works for adults too, I always understood communication is important but the timing and the thought that the other party would not understand had misled me. Explain yourself even if the kids do not understand.

If you wish them to be a Doctor/Lawyer or which ever profession, get them started early intro them to the trade. If they are keen, naturally they'll get into it without you forcing nor instructing them to.

Set rules early, its better to be strict early rather than later. Love them as they are but not pampering. Showing love imo does not mean you have to unsee any misdeeds they've done, rather the parents or any adults have the duty to nurture the young when you see them go astray. As they grow older, its harder to implement ideas nor will they have the understand till perhaps in their later life which might be too late, its the future, we can't predict but we certainly can prevent.

Perhaps not intro kids to electronics too soon. Don't use TV, mobile as a tool for distraction which will get them hoked on early. I am not a bookworm but I feel nurturing reading habits early is important. Perhaps you can take lessons about it or ask a librarian about introducing books to a child.

Be a good person yourself, not saying you aren't, you understand what I mean. Kids will naturally follow what adults surrounding them are doing. If you have a kind heart and good to the people around you. Positive and cheerful, I believe that's a great environment for kids.

As much as we want the future never follow our intentions. I wish you the very best and the little one be someone you've hope he grew up to be. Even if he doesn't in future, try to understand him, talk to him, let him know that whenever he has a dilemma or did something wrong, he always has someone to speak to and advice from then.
Warmest Regards and Sincerest Wishes, Cruse~<3

1 month ago
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