Have you ever been bullied or didn't react when seeing other people getting bullied?
When I was growing up, bullying was commonly done to "new kids." (It didn't matter in what way the "new kid" might be different than the bully, he or she would find a reason to pick on him/her.) It continued until the "new kid" fought back (by whatever method). Bullies would only continue their bullying until they determined that it wasn't worth the effort/pain to bother the person, then they would stop.
Things are more complicated, these days, because of changes to the social environment.
- Too many kids don't know how to protect themselves, nor are they toughened up.
- Society has become highly litigious (i.e. people sue you for anything and everything).
- Society has become overly passive and is no longer willing to suppress evil.
It's up to parents to teach their kids how to survive. Unfortunately, broken families and/or inadequate parents make life that much more difficult for their kids.
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New kids? That actually sounds more like an army thing, but nevermind. :P Well, I don't think that kids MUST toughen up. It's their decision if they want to be soft or not. Still, the society has changed, parents have become overprotective, and they don't let you toughen up in the streets, like they used to. In the older times, you would go with your friends in the park, play some sports, fight in a friendly way, etc. Now, parents will hardly even let you out when you're too young. xD
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This post is at odds with you creating this thread
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I said that there's no necessity in toughening up, if you don't want to. The alternate solution is to just ask for help. :/
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No, but that is the third option.
Fight back, ask for help, or suffer.
Keep in mind that fighting back isn't always possible, and asking for help doesn't always work (and bullied kids are often too scared/embarrassed to tell anyone)
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Not doing anything is not an option, except if you're insensitive and you don't really care about the bullies. And why my 2 options don't work? If they never do anything, then nothing will change.
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Back in the "old days," we called that "coddling," and saw it as a disservice to the kid. It's like living near a lake or the ocean and not teaching your kids how to swim. It is the job of the parents (mostly the father) to teach their kids how to survive the dangers of the world in which we live. If you don't, it becomes a matter of "sink or swim," and that's a perilous way for anyone to learn.
It's their decision whether they want to be soft or not.
(setting aside the many different meanings of "soft," for now...)
There is no choice in the matter. You either survive, or you die. Life will throw challenges at you physically, mentally, and emotionally. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, but we all have to learn how to protect our bodies, minds, and emotional health. Different people will use different techniques, but you don't grow old without having figured out a way to fend off harm.
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Yeah, I know, we have to learn how to protect ourselves, but we usually need someone to tell us that we can do this! Just like you said, it's mostly the parents' job.
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One high school I was at had this outdated mentality, that it's just "normal". classes often had to evacuate many many times because of bomb threats from ex students who wanted to kill the teachers who had scoffed and told them to "get over it". it was like a weekly thing.
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The "get over it" thing isn't helpful at all and should obviously be avoided. You must either take a stand against the bullies or ask for help from someone. Your teachers were totally stupid.
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Not every bullied kid learns to defend him/herself
Some are forced to suffer throughout their formative years.
I'm pretty sure that was equally true when you were growing up; you just didn't care to notice
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I'm not sure how well you read what I wrote.
Not every bullied kid learns to defend him/herself.
Yes, I did say that. (See point #1.) Should every kid learn to defend him or herself? Every kid will be forced to, sooner or later. Is it the responsibility of the parents to be preemptive in this? Absolutely. And before anyone complains about "not being strong enough," I will (again) point out that there are many ways to defend oneself. It is, however, a skill that every person should have. Otherwise, you're just a target, and that's not good for anyone's morale.
I'm pretty sure that was equally true when you were growing up; you just didn't care to notice.
Yes, it was true when I was growing up, and not only did I notice, I also cared. Many times, I got actively involved in defying the bully, sometimes at great personal risk. I find it very odd that you claim to know what I experienced and how I felt about it.
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No offense intended, but you basically said "bullying isn't a big deal, because the victim will learn to fight back". That's at odds with what you said now, where you defended against bullying.
I also keep in mind that bullying can go too far. Bullies have caused permanent harm, such as by throwing victims down a stairs, or burning them, or worse.
Generally, when someone harkens to ye olden times, it's a somewhat idealized version of the past, ignoring the harsher reality not experienced by the person making the comment. I attributed that same attitude to you - if in error, I apologize
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I apologize for not being clear, but that is not at all what I said.
- I said bullying was common (just as it is, today).
- I said that bullying continued until the one being bullied fought back (just as happens, today).
- I said that today's kids are much less likely to be able to defend themselves, and I gave reasons why.
One big difference between now and "the old days" is that adults used to be a lot more involved in raising kids, would police their own families, and wouldn't tolerate antisocial behavior in their neighborhoods. Bullies were forced to keep things "low key" so as not to arouse the wrath of their peers or (even worse) adults. Most of the time, however, bullies did what they did because they were themselves bullied at home. (I suspect that is still the case.)
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Whatever you prefer, although it would be better if you would talk. :/ You can talk to professionals too, if you prefer.
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Someone insulted my short pants once, "nice pants" he said
I have since designed 17 different pants and started a Pants for the Homeless program
Nah not really, but that's all that really happened to be because I was invisible to everyone
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At least, were your pants actually nice? ;P You mean you are an introvert or that just people didn't want to talk to you?
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I didn't think so, but of course I never wore them again in public
Yeah well we were a small school so there wasn't a lot of making new friends because we all sorta knew eachother already
Plus some of my friends kind of left me behind
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Well, you can always find new friends by socializing. When a friend of mine would start behaving badly, I would just start talking to him scarcely and then find a new friend.
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Yeah, I got better at that when I went to uni, when there are so many people, it's almost impossible not to find friends
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I hope you are in a better condition now. :/ If you don't want to share your story, but you still have those problems, you can ask for professional help. And that's a really nice video. I'm watching it now. ;)
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I was bullied. You know what I did? I sucked it up. I dealt with it. Problem today is kids are weak as shit.
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They can also stand against them or ask for someone's help. Just telling them weak, won't change anything. :/ Sucking it up can work too, as long as you're insensitive. ;P
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Το ξέρεις οτι το θέμα εχει λήξει στην ελληνική τηλεόραση εδω και μήνες ετσι;;; Εσένα πως σου ρθε τώρα στο άκυρο; :P
Ντάξει νομίζω πλεον εχει παραγαμήθει κιόλας, οπως είπε ο Jekaterina αμέσως με την παραμικρή μαλακία αμέσως κλάμα και δεν μιλάω για τρελά πράγματα που γίνονται στο αμέρικα μιλάω για ενα απλό ξέρω γω πως κουρεύτηκες ετσι ας πούμε, τα σημερινά παιδιά θα το πάρουν κατάκαρδα θα πάνε ν αυτοκτονήσουν δλδ τι στον πέο. Και το '60 '70 '80 τα ίδια λέγανε και τελείως διαφορετικἐς αντιδράσεις = διαφορετική νοοτροπία. Τέλος πάντων ασε το bullying τώρα και κάνε κανα giveaway για το ταμπλετάκι που κέρδισες ;-) Άντε πριν φάς καμια φάπα :P
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Αααα, μου κάνει bullying. Θέλει να με χτυπήσει. :( Σιγά μη δώσω το tablet. Για μαλάκες ψάχνεις; It's mine, my precious. :D Δεν έχει σχέση με την ελληνική τηλεόραση. Δε βλέπω καν τηλεόραση. Αλλά γίνονται πολλές μαλακίες στον κόσμο και πολλά παιδάκια αυτοκτονούν. Και τι θα πας να πεις στα παιδάκια που είναι θύματα εκφοβισμού; Να το καταπιούν και δεν έγινε και τίποτα; Ε τότε είναι που θα αυτοκτονήσουν. Δεν είναι ένα θέμα που μπορεί να περάσει στο ντούκου. Και πέρα από τις αυτοκτονίες, γίνονται και δολοφονίες λόγω εκφοβισμού. Οπότε, μην τα γαμάμε όλα.
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Κανα game εννοούσα ρε, οχι το τάμπλετ. Χαχα, αστειευόμενος φυσικά.
Δεν με κατάλαβες δεν μιλάω για τις περιπτώσεις οπου γίνεται συχνά στο ίδιο άτομο και για χοντρά πράγματα ακόμα και μια φορά κλπ εκει μαζί σου, μιλάω για όπως το παράδειγμα που ανέφερα πρίν.
Συμφωνούμε γενικά στο θέμα απλα ξέρω γω μου φαίνεται πως είναι πολύ ευαίσθητα τα σημερινά παιδιά.
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Ίσως. Αλλά υπάρχουν και πολλά μαλακισμένα στη νέα γενιά που το παίζουν μάγκες. Τέλος πάντων, ναι, προφανώς και είναι υπερβολικό να το πάρεις κατάκαρδα άμα σου κάνουν μια φορά ένα ελαφρό bullying, αλλά και πάλι, δεν μπορείς να ρίξεις το φταίξιμο στο θύμα γι'αυτό. :P Πάντα ο θύτης φταίει, όσο ελαφρύς και να'ναι ο εκφοβισμός. Κάνω ήδη giveaway για παιχνίδι ρε συ. xD
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Καλα αυτα είναι μαλακισμένα όπως το πες...
ΚΑΝΕ Κ ΑΛΛΟ! ΚΑΝΕ Κ ΑΛΛΟ! :-D
Χαχαχα
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Why would someone bully another person because she has red hair? o.O Anyway, it's nice to see that some schools are supportive and actually help the kids.
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I have participating in bullying once in grade school. I don't remember exactly what we did or said though I vaguely remember that my friends and I didn't want to be friends with this one kid and he wouldn't leave us alone. He eventually transferred...so mission accomplished? I do regret it now and wish our conflict could have been solved in a better manner.
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I'm pretty sure that you could have found a better way to tell him that you don't want to be friends with him. :/ He transferred schools because of you?
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Here in my country they started to label harassment/attacks/mocking in schools with the term of "bullying" two years ago. It's a great step, because before it didn't exist a specifical term other than the mild "mocking" or "hair pulling" (I don't know if this expressions translates well). In a way or another everybody experienced bullying (not particularly the "US kind" movies/news portray, but more subtle and verbal instead of physical).
But, what I come to realize is that when years pass by, and mutual self respect (individually and in a group) arises, some people seem to forget, or maybe selectively forget/deny that they have been bullied. They minimize the attacks they suffered with stuff like "they were only light jokes", "maybe one or two times someone called me with a negative nickname" etc.
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Yeah, because most bullied people are shy and don't want to tell their problems to anyone. But if you don't accept that this situation exists, then how are you going to solve it?
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I was a weird fat girl wearing glasses at school, totally a nerd, and yet I've never been bullied. I witnessed some, but the worst case i've ever seen went for a total of 3 years, and the victim wasn't even a teen (as weren't the whole class of witnesses), while the bully was an adult, the poor girl's mother and our elementary school teacher. The worst thing is when you're a little child, you don't actually have an opinion of your own yet, and as you see an authority figure attacking someone every day in public, you actually percieve the victim as someone who deserves that, as someone "bad"; as a result we treated her like shit. When something of that kind repeated itself several years later whis another mother-child couple, my classmates and I were totally on the side of the victim (but again, couldn't actually do anything - aside from offering our support to the girl).
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Yeah, kids never understand. They can't understand the difference between right and wrong and it seems normal to them when bullying is repetitive. o.O
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I was being bullied and i always stand against them. I told my teacher what they did but the teacher was a total asshole and didnt believe me even though he knew what kind of shit they were. Maybe if i had a weak personality i would taken psychologically damage. You cant do much if the teachers are some assholes who doesnt care for their students.
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Not all teachers are assholes, but there seem to be a lot of them that don't care at all. It's nice that you stood against them, because if you were not reacting, that would never change anything.
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Hey, hey, hey! :D How are you, people? I hope you're all fine. Even if you aren't fine, things can and will get better.
Today, we're going to talk about bullying. Bullying is a serious problem. We've all been bullied at some point in our life and maybe it didn't even affect us or it had a very small duration or we don't even remember it, but still, we've all been bullied. And we've also seen many people getting bullied, but did we react? Did we protect the victim from being bullied? I was never a bully and I always hated bullies, but I've seen a lot of people getting bullied in the school, in the university, in the navy, and in some jobs, and even though sometimes I tried to protect them, some other times I didn't even react. And you know, this makes me really angry......with myself. So, to stop my compunction, I would like to talk about this "plague" widely known as bullying.
Here are some facts about bullying (about American students only - sorry, I couldn't find any worldwide facts):
1) Over 3,2 million students are victims of bullying each year.
2) Approximately 160000 teens skip school every day because of bullying.
3) 17% of American students report being bullied 2 to 3 times a month or more within a school semester.
4) 1 in 4 teachers see nothing wrong with bullying and will only intervene 4% of the time.
5) By age 14, less than 30% of boys and 40% of girls will talk to their peers about bullying.
6) Over 67% of students believe that schools respond poorly to bullying, with a high percentage of students believing that adult help is infrequent and ineffective.
7) 71% of students report incidents of bullying as a problem at their school.
8) 90% of 4th through 8th graders report being victims of bullying.
9) 1 in 10 students drop out of school because of repeated bullying.
10) As boys age, they are less and less likely to feel sympathy for victims of bullying. In fact, they are more likely to add to the problem than solve it.
11) Physical bullying increases in elementary school, peaks in middle school, and declines in high school. Verbal abuse, on the other hand, remains constant.
Feeling Down? Talk to a trained crisis counselor. Text “DS” TO 741-741. Free, 24/7, Confidential. (source: www.dosomething.org)
Also, check out: http://www.stopbullying.gov/
You're not alone, guys and girls. Have you seen all those percentages above? Bullied people are a lot more than the bullies, so you can make a group and take a stand.
You're getting bullied? Then react. Bullies will usually keep bullying people that never react to their bullying . You're afraid to react? Then ask for help. There are a lot of people that would gladly help you. Myself included.
You're seeing other people getting bullied? Protect them and that will make you a real hero in the eyes of the people around you. Protect other people and then other people will also protect you. If you don't protect them, then who will protect you if the bullies will come for you?
And here's a very powerful song about bullying: Rise Against - Make It Stop (September's Children). It's mostly about the LGBT community, but you know, it's still against bullying in general. 5 young people (Tyler Clementi, age 18 - Billy Lucas, age 15 - Harrison Chase Brown, age 15 - Cody J. Barker, age 17 - Seth Walsh, age 13), as read aloud during the song, were driven to suicide because bullies were mocking them because they were different. It's awesome being different. Don't let some stupid bullies, that will probably end up doing NOTHING in their life, tell you what you are. YOU choose what you are. Do NOT choose to let them break you. Be PROUD of what you are.
Here's a group, if you ever want to talk about being bullied or support people that are getting bullied. I can make you an admin too, if you want to.
And here's a giveaway for you. Keep strong! Peace! ;)
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