Having differences and still take care of that person tells a lot. I'm really sorry for your loss, time will heal you. Take care Lugum.
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So sorry for your loss, Lugum. Sadly, we had a death in the family a few weeks ago (due to Covid) and I know how heart-breaking it is to be forced to face the facts all of a sudden, long before you were ready to say good-bye to a beloved person. I do hope you will cope better each day in the next weeks, even though unresolved issues of course make this much harder.
My deepest and most sincere condolences!
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Oh my god, I'm so sorry for your loss. :(
I think that, even as grown ups, we kinda think that we'll always have our parents by our side, that they're somewhat invincible. Immortal. Your post made me even more aware of their mortality. I am getting older and so are they. I guess it's a reality I just don't really want to think about. My dad has survived two cancers and I still remember the fear, the uncertainty... I can't even imagine how you feel right now.
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Sorry for your loss т_т Strength to you and your family...
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I'm so, so sorry. I know what it's like to miss getting to say something at the very last second. I can't speak for your situation, but I think he knew deep down how much he mattered to you, or at least, that's how I got through my own regrets. I still feel that regret, but all you can do is remind yourself you can't change anything now and try to find solace in it. It's not at all easy, and it's going to linger quite possibly forever, but if you can make peace with what you can't change in life, it'll give you a little bit of closure.
I'm not heavily religious (although I am somewhat so), but regardless, I feel like this is good wisdom, whether you're asking for it from a higher power or from yourself:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference."
I've carried this in my wallet for years now and open it whenever the regret sets in. It took years for it to matter to me, but once it sunk in, it did give me a little more peace.
Best wishes to you and your family. And blessings to your father, wherever you believe he is now.
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I'm so sorry. I was a huge mess when my mum died suddenly, she was far too young (41). It's true that time heals, you won't always feel this as intensely as you do right now. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, there is no time frame that is normal, it's such an individual experience. You'll get there, in your own way. I wish you peace.
Something I saved a while ago (please ignore the crappy clickbaity headline, the analogy is nice though.) https://imgur.com/gallery/EzpoQed
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I posted a lot of threads here about myself, my dad included and his health and particulary his cancer. He recently had one kidney removed but things were still looking bright, he started picking up on daily life stuff again the last 2 weeks.
Then this morning he woke up with a heavy breathing problem and he was rushed before to the hospital with "false alarm" and i thought it was another case also because of the heat, but unfortunately this time it wasn't, and when you know someone is past his age you can prepare yourself, but when it's rather unexpected it comes as a major major shock.
My dad and i had our differences, but he was a loving kind father, i always thought we would make up properly someday, but now when you don't get that chance anymore.
A reminder this thing can always happen in an instant, and it sounds just like words but appreciate eachother when you still can please.
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/8R697/the-feeble-files
It's region restricted. If anyone wants to say a kind word, thank you i appreciate it, i probably won't reply because i am still in a bit of a shock.
[Edit] Overwhelmed by the reactions thank you very much, really appreciated.
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