I need some advice

Don't stick the fork between your teeth. I guess a trident would be ok since there's a chewing gum named like that.

Don't drink and drive. Unless you have to

Go to the zoo find a nice looking llama and do a [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Tony+Danza]
(Tony danza) on it

Just remember, when in doubt, nothing is true, everything is permitted.

42? Should cover all bases. o:>

If your shit is so big that it looks like small child leg use a bamboo kebab stick to break it so you don't clog your toilet when flushing.

Always remember that shitting in a freezer and then using it as a dildo is not weird, its just a Mahogany Canoe!

Never make eye contact while eating a banana. Never.

Here's a Llama, there's a Llama, every where's a little Llama, Llama Llama little Llama dick.

Buy this improved version.

View attached image.

Don't have sex with a cow

Where is potato option ...

advice? best one: don't ask for advice!

Do not drink more than you can swallow.

If you want to meet hot chicks, you gotta go where the hot chicks are.

"Don't hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat." (yeah ok, I stole that one from the new Shadow Warrior )
Don't drink and drive. You might spill your drink.

Need to get hyped ? FInd some mood music!

When you need to borrow money, borrow from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Have another drink, can't go wrong with that.

GMT +1 is cool tho

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

--Jimmy Soul

If it's not eatable and not fuckable, pee on it.

check yoself before you wreck yoself, fool!