Happy Late Cake Day
Self-care is sometimes really difficult to manage. I wish you all the best in this š£
I also have a mother whose health is also deteriorating from 2 heart attacks and diabetes. I did what any son would do and had her move in with me. She's been in and out of the hospital so much for high potassium/high blood sugar in her blood or just intense pain. I broke down last year and had an anxiety attack at work. Which lead me to take a pause. That made me reflect on my own self-care. I started doing the things that I used to do little by little: exercise, eat healthy, play games, read great stories. As the sole caretaker you have a duty to take care of yourself first and foremost.
I know it's hard and I'm sure your mom is just as needy as mine, but stay strong and try to keep some quiet space for yourself like people above me said ^^
Here's some uplifting music
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Thank you SO much, this really moved me!
I know about the breaking down, the panic attacks: been there already!
It's difficult to balance between caring and taking good enough care of yourself.
And despite all the lessons I've already learned, sometimes that balance gets broken again.
But I agree wholeheartedly: we DO have the duty to take care of ourselves first!
But.....that takes some reminding from time to time!
I am glad when people do remind me, it takes away the guilty feeling.
Come February I've rented a room for myself in a community with very kind and loving people.
I have a little bit of space for myself there, so I take breathers in between caring.
I wish my Mum lived closer by, that would have made it easier.
I sincerely hope you also do heed your own advise!
Take good care of yourself!
Being a caretaker takes a toll on you, as you already know.
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Agreed, it's easy to give out advice, but SO hard to heed it yourself.
Balance is definitely key š
Thank you to you as well for the great reminderš
I think I've learned my lesson š
Hope your next life update will be a great one!
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I don't have anything additional to say. You "sound" very strong and kind. I wish that you manage to come out of this difficult phase in one piece and sane. Here's a smile to make your day better :)
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Wow... you are and have been going through so much in your life! I would say āHang in thereā but looks like you are doing just that!
I know you might not feel like it but youre such an inspiration to all of us. Keep steady!
Tough thing about your husband. Ironic how it was supposed to be psychosomatic but turned out he had cancer. Sounds like he was cancerous before he had cancer by being egocentric.
I wish you peace...
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Thank you very much Jeff!
Weird thing is I never even realized my husband is egocentric, so in hind sight we never had a good balance in our relationship.
It's quiet unsettling to realize you are in a toxic relationship. I used to blame myself.
Sad thing is that he still thinks he's wronged by so many people, he's terminally ill and hurting tremendously.
It's sadly not in his nature to truly look at himself and his behavior, cause life is to blame, we are to blame, physicians and healthcare professionals are to blame etc......
How are you doing?
I meant to stay in touch but RL got in the way big time.
Did you have any benefits from the DBS?
I really hope so, you deserve it!
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DBS really made my life livable. Prior to the surgery the pain and tremor was non stop and Spanish Inquisition level pain. Now i have no tremor and minor pain. So in a relative sense it saved my life.
I still have the disease of course and it lately has started affecting my speech. Everyday somethingās new.
So sad about your husband. Whats really sad is if he dies thinking everyone else is to blame... it would be so much better for him if he was humble.
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I am so glad to hear that you did benefit from the DBS!
Sorry tho that your speech is now affected.
My husband could learn a lot from you!
You are one of the humblest and kindest persons I ever met, sadly being humble is not in my husbands vocabulary at all!
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I'm at a loss for words... I can only hope that your situation will improve and as mean as is may sound, that your husband will move to a hospice soon, so you can have some well deserved breaks from caring for him. And I hope you'll find a room where you can have some time for yourself, since this seems to be somehting you didn't really get during the last months (maybe even years).
You're stronger than I could ever be, stronger than many others, so take this strength and use it for yourself! You did so much for others and almost forgot about yourself, but I'm glad that you're starting to change that. You deserve to be happy, to not costantly worry about others.
Take care of yourself, take the time you need to rest, to have fun, to live!
Happy belated cake day hugs Eat some real cake, take a day off, relax, remember that you care, that you are important and try to do at least one nice thing for yourself every day.
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Thank you!
I can only hope too that hospice will be around the corner!
I love hugs! Real cake......hmmm yummy! But the stress gave me some love handles already, so I will take only a small piece! xD
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I come ill prepared, but there is this factory next to my name!
No worries, dug up some humble gifts, so I am not totally empty handed.
it's been another eventful year and life is still rough on me.
My marriage is in shambles, the man that was once the love of my life is dying of cancer (that wasn't the cause of our break up).
My mum is deteriorating fast and needs more and more care and help.
I try to be there for both (despite the fact that my husband really broke me), but it is hard.
Sometimes it feels like living for 3 and when it becomes too much, I tend to totally forget and neglect myself.
I try to remind myself: you can not pour from an empty cup!
But the pressure to keep caring is really high, cause the system due to financial cut backs doesn't provide enough help.
I temporary moved in with my Mum as I really no longer could stay afloat living in the same house with the man that broke me.
But.....that doesn't seem to be a good solution!
I still need a place of my own. Tried to move out on my husband awhile back (when he wasn't that ill yet) but he financially blocked me.
If I would have left at that time, we would both have gotten in financial problems.
Now looking into finding a room (just a room, not a house) for myself in my home town
That way I can take breaks from caring and take some much needed "me" time.
My husband is not a bad person (neither I am, I think......) but.....he is obsessive, everything has to be done his way and he has an egocentric personality. When an egocentric person gets ill, life gets rough; extremely rough!
Before we discovered he had cancer he broke down physically and mentally, his behavior within his illness was extreme.
I've basically lived within a crisis situation for nearly 4 years , I felt (and I was!) abused on an emotional and psychological level.
When he finally got admitted to a center specialized in psychosomatic disorders we discovered he had cancer!
After his time in that specialized center it took me near 2 years to piece myself together slightly (with psychological aid).
I was ready to leave my husband a year ago. And yes, I felt awful! Cause who leaves a dying person!?
Truth is that the cancer had nothing to do with it!
I was blocked when I wanted out of a marriage that was hurting me so much.
And now my husband is really dying, this is probably his last year on earth.
I expect he will move to a hospice within the next half year or so.
I don't know how long my Mum still has.
So yeah.....life is still rough!
But the cake still wants to be shared!
I am sitting on a load of unused keys and sometime I will make loads of giveaways!
TL;DR: take the gibs:
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/aIAod/ancestors-legacy
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/Hp8Cd/regular-human-basketball
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/INXxg/dark-future-blood-red-states
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/tR2oy/override-mech-city-brawl
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/si7Mo/tannenberg
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/IWuij/rising-storm-2-vietnam
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/LTUvf/horizon-chase-turbo
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/P5hfc/11-11-memories-retold
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/qLJS6/road-redemption
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/1qDkM/synthetik-legion-rising
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